The Spark - Jules Wake Page 0,86
normally only for tourists.’
I was still backing away and now I turned and walked as quickly as I could back towards the village, feeling sick. My skin prickled with shame. She’d been so nice. She wasn’t supposed to be nice. Or pretty. Or welcoming. Or talk about my dad with that soft-voiced love in her words.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out, grateful for the distraction.
‘Hi, Sam, I’m just on my way back.’ My voice sounded shaky and I wondered what on earth I was going to tell him.
My whole world had just been knocked off its axis. How was I going to face my mum? I’d met the enemy – except she wasn’t. Alicia was me in the future. I deserved to be happy with Sam, in the way she so clearly was with my dad. Was my mum responsible in part for the acrimonious way things had ended with my dad? Maybe he wasn’t the monster she’d always painted him to be, just like I wasn’t the evil bitch that Victoria had made me out to be. Sam’s friends were still ostracising him and me; perhaps it was time to show the other side of the story.
I needed to talk to Mum, which filled me with dread. Perhaps it would be easier to talk to Aunty Lynn first. In the meantime, I had some explaining to do to Sam, and it was only fair to tell him the truth.
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?’
I smiled at Sam, that bubble of love rising at his words. He had an uncanny ability to know when I needed his support. It was family history and hurt that needed to be unpicked alone. ‘No, but thank you. I’m dreading it and I certainly don’t want to drag you in.’
‘But your mum likes me. I could charm her.’
‘You probably could, but I need to do this on my own. Besides, you have to get that pile of marking done if we’re going to go to your mum and dad’s party tomorrow.’
He pulled a face and I wasn’t sure if it was the marking or the party that was responsible.
‘I’m not going to be long. Mum might do her usual and just refuse to talk to me about my dad.’
I picked up my car keys and Sam rose to give me a quick hug and a kiss on the forehead.
‘I love you, Jess. You always do the right thing.’
‘It doesn’t feel like it right now, but I need to know what really happened.’
Ever since Victoria had started her campaign of harassment, which seemed to have died down since our return from Cornwall, my sympathies towards her and my mum had undergone a radical change.
When I’d returned to the pub after meeting Alicia and my brothers, I’d blurted the whole story out to Sam. I had brothers. Seeing them, their features so like mine, had kick-started an odd yearning somewhere in my sternum, but also a desire to understand more why Dad had left me behind. He’d had more children, so he wasn’t averse to family. Why couldn’t he have been a father to me?
While it would have been easier to ask Aunty Lynn, I needed to hear it from Mum.
I climbed out of the car, feeling woefully unprepared, despite all the words I’d prepared on the fifteen-minute journey and throughout most of the previous night.
‘Jess!’ Mum’s surprise was touched with awkwardness. ‘Is everything all right? You should have phoned and told me you were coming.’ She glanced back over her shoulder. ‘Douglas has just popped in for coffee. We were discussing bulbs for the spring. He has a lovely garden.’
Even in my own agitated state, I could tell she was rattled. Before I could say anything, she trotted off down the hall towards the kitchen, her sensible, ever-present courts clicking on the wooden floor. I followed her and found her neighbour sitting at the kitchen table with a large mug of coffee and in front of him a plate of cake. ‘Look who’s here. Jess.’
‘Morning,’ I said as he jumped to his feet. ‘Sorry to interrupt.’
‘No, no, not at all. I was just going. I’ll pop back later, Joan, and give that lawn a mow for you.’
‘Thank you. That would be very kind.’
‘Please don’t go on my account,’ I said, feeling horribly guilty for causing the sudden awkwardness in the air and chasing him away. He seemed to be the only bright light in