The Spanish Tycoon's Temptress Page 0,56
to rush back to him, to demand that he explain. She shouldn’t want an explanation from him. He’d betrayed everything they’d had seven years ago. She couldn’t trust him again, not with her heart or her future. He had hurt her and it was so much worse this time. Before, she’d had an immature love for a man she thought she’d loved. They’d both been so young, so captivated by what they thought life would be like. But now, knowing that life was hard, when she thought she’d found someone that she could really share her hopes and dreams with, only to have those hopes dashed by his conceited, insecure judgments, was heart wrenching.
She would survive though. She found a chair in a corner with a study station that was empty. Because it was finals week, the library was abnormally full right now, but that also meant that she could stay here later than normal and not be bothered by anyone telling her that the facility would close soon.
Her mind went through all the things he’d said and done. And her eyes became wet and weepy when she remembered his gentle touch after he’d made love to her. He’d been passionate, demanding and so amazingly wonderful right up until the moment he realized that she was a virgin. At that point, he’d been so gentle and caring, surprised that she hadn’t been with another man.
And then he’d walked away. He’d opened up the damn by leaving her immediately following the most intimate moment of her life, leaving her vulnerable and scared. What would she have done if he hadn’t left her? If he’d just held her and told her he thought she was beautiful? Would she have cried for her loss? Or would she have turned to him and felt safe and cared for? Would she have issued some demands herself such as a repeat performance?
At this point, there was no use in second guessing the ‘what ifs’. In the end, he’d left her to do whatever it was that he did in the bathroom. Berate himself, berate her, brush his teeth or whatever a man did after sex. He’d left her cold, scared and wanting his arms around her.
Okay, so when he’d come back, he’d held her in his arms until the pain had gone away, rocking her in his arms. And the warm bath had soothed aching parts of her that she hadn’t known were sore. That had been very sweet of him and she didn’t think that he took many virgins to his bed. Well, at least she hoped he hadn’t. But then again, how had he known that the warm bath would soothe her?
She sighed and let her head drop into her palms, wondering if she would ever understand what motivated that man. He was so complex, so difficult to get to know. He kept so much to himself that she sometimes felt as if she were walking beside him, but completely alone.
No, that wasn’t a fair statement either. When she was with him, he surrounded her, consumed her. He wasn’t the kind of man that would let a woman feel alone when she was with him. Then what was it that made her feel so….scared when she was with him? Why was she so vulnerable around him.
When the answer came to her, she wasn’t sure she could handle it. She tossed it around in her mind, her world crashing in around her. All that she’d thought she knew about herself she would have to re-evaluate because the only reason she could feel that way was if she was in love with Gaston. But how was that possible? She’d been so cautious! So careful to not let him get passed her barriers.
Well, he’d demolished all of her physical barriers so why was she so blind to the possibility that he’d broken down her emotional barriers as well. She cried, alone and scared, as she acknowledged that she loved that man more than she had seven years ago. And she hated him for that.
A long time later, she looked around, astonished to realize that she was practically alone in the library. She lifted her head and glanced down at her watch, astonished to realize that she’d been in the library for several hours now. She pulled herself up straight. She must have fallen asleep and her arm showed her that she’d done so on the desk in front of her, her head cradled in her arms.
With a