with her hands on her hips. “Wow, Em. This is beautiful. No wonder you love it up here so much.”
“Thanks. It’s…yeah, insanely gorgeous. Going back to an apartment after living here is gonna suck.”
Unless I go live with Samuel instead.
Twenty-four hours ago, the idea would’ve been ridiculous. A month ago, it would’ve been laughable.
But now, I’m really considering Samuel’s proposition. Things have moved quickly with Samuel in a way they never have with anyone else. Is that a sign our connection really is special? Or is it just lust leading us headlong into disaster?
“What have you been drinking these days?” My sister is combing through the bottles on my counter. “Anything special I should try?”
I blink. “Now?”
Bottle of sauvignon blanc in her hands, Lindsey shrugs. “Why not? It’s Saturday. Plus, it’s a snow day. What else are we going to do?”
“Linds, it’s not even ten o’clock. In the morning.”
Smiling, she starts opening cabinets, clearly in search of wineglasses. “Exactly. When was the last time you just said fuck it and did what you wanted? C’mon, have a glass with me. I can’t believe I’m having to beg a sommelier to drink.”
I open the cabinet above the coffee maker and pull out two white wineglasses. Someone—I have a good guess who—stocked the kitchen with several kinds of wineglasses. Big balloons for meaty reds. Slim flutes for sparkling. Dainty glasses for white wine like this one.
“Here, you open it. Corkscrew’s right there beside the stove. I’m gonna go change real quick.”
My mind races while I slip into leggings and a sweatshirt. Mine, not Samuel’s, although he gave me his to take home because I “look really fucking good” in it.
My heart flutters. Full-on flutters, like I’m a middle schooler with a crush.
But beside that flutter lies a sharp edge. One my excitement keeps catching on.
What about my job? My reputation?
My future?
A part of me thinks Samuel and I could make it all work. We’re dedicated enough. Passionate enough too.
We’re also well seasoned. We know what it’s like to live alone, and we know what we’d be giving up to live together. To think about everything we’d gain, though…
I mean, it could be pretty incredible.
But then a part of me thinks I’m just being stupid. There’s no way a relationship with Samuel doesn’t end badly. He’s got all the power. Not only is he rich as sin, but his family literally owns the company I’m working for. He owns it. So while he is my coworker, he’s also kinda sorta my boss. And dating your boss is dicey territory in the best of circumstances.
Hell, I’m already blushing about seeing him tomorrow at the barn. What if it gets out that Samuel and I are sleeping together, and our employees, who’ve known Samuel a lot longer than they’ve known me, start to form less than great opinions about me? It’s sexist and terrible, yeah, but sometimes it’s how the world works.
What if having such a giant distraction around all the damn time makes me fuck up my work? What if it makes me self-conscious to the point I can’t perform? What if we get sick of each other? We’ll be around each other day and night. Will that make the magic wear off?
And was it wrong of Samuel to make such a proposition in the first place? And if it was, why does it make me feel so damn good?
He makes me feel good. And therein lies the problem. I don’t need him to feel good about myself. But being around him definitely makes me feel great. Which means not only does he have power over the future of my career, but he’s got power over my feelings too. If he can make me feel good, he can also make me feel like shit. He’s certainly done it before.
He could destroy me.
I don’t have time to be destroyed. I have goals. Big, scary, super ambitious things I am determined to get done.
It’s terrifying, knowing that committing to Samuel could mean losing all that. I could always find another job. But if I leave Blue Mountain under…well, not great circumstances, who knows if they’ll give me the reference I need to land a comparable position somewhere else? Beau is a great guy, and I know he’s in my corner, but Samuel is blood. That’s a kind of loyalty I can’t compete with. If Beau ever had to choose between the two of us, I know without a doubt whose side he’d be on.