“Oh, God,” I whispered, taking a step away from him. “I’m sorry. I totally read too much into it.” If I could’ve smacked myself, I would have. I knew better than to put more weight on things. I knew better than this. “Forget I said anything.”
I hurried away, mostly because I was so embarrassed I felt my cheeks flaming. I really wished I could go home and bury my face in my pillow, pretend, just for a few hours, that the world outside didn’t exist, that Mason and Calum were not my problems, and that everything was normal.
Who knew talking to attractive guys would make my mind get so jumbled? I felt like an idiot. The worst idiot around. Ugh.
I made a diagonal across the grass, wanting to rush away from Mason and the crowd on the sidewalk and find a nice quiet place to clear my head before my next class started. I didn’t make it far before a firm, warm hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back and forcing me to stop, a hand whose fingers were thick and strong, able to fully wrap around my slender wrist, and then some.
Do not look back, I told myself. Do not look back. He’ll just give you a pitying look because you assumed something totally wrong. I did not need to be on the receiving end of a look like that to know I’d fucked up.
“Bree.” Mason’s voice was soft, tender, and, in spite of the fact I knew I shouldn’t, I found myself looking over my shoulder and meeting his brown eyes. “Stop,” he said, slowly releasing his hold on my wrist.
I brought my wrist to my chest, rubbing it absentmindedly, wondering why his hand on me had felt so good…almost like Calum’s cheek kiss.
He stuck his hands in his pockets, taking a single step towards me. “Can I be honest?” He paused, only for a moment, before adding, “Can I be honest without you freaking out again?”
Uh, that might not be something I could promise him. Knowing me, freaking out happened all too easily. Nothing about my life was easy, so I didn’t know why I thought I had everything under control. I should’ve known something would happen eventually—I just didn’t think more than one thing would happen at once.
Calum. Mason. I couldn’t handle one of them. How was I supposed to juggle them both, along with faking a general happiness to be alive?
“Sure,” I said, though I knew I didn’t sound believable in the least.
“You…you might be right,” Mason slowly spoke, never once breaking eye contact, as if he couldn’t. “I am a little jealous that someone else is taking you out tonight…for the second time. If I’m completely honest, I only wanted to be your partner so we could spend more time together. There’s something about you, Bree. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know why I care so much, but I do, and I can’t change it.”
I couldn’t breathe. I could not breathe at all as I listened to Mason talk. He sounded utterly serious, and yet…he couldn’t be. He couldn’t really be jealous, he didn’t really want to spend more time with me. There was nothing fun or special about me to merit any sort of jealousy or wanting.
“Everything I did and said was to spend time with you,” Mason went on. “You might think you’re boring, but you’re not. You are worth it.”
I wanted to be sick. This was too much. I couldn’t… “I have to go,” I muttered, turning away from him again and rushing off. This time, Mason didn’t stop me. This time, he let me go, let me hurry away from him like I was a mouse running away from a cat who’d somehow cornered me and let me go.
I was worth it.
No, no. He was wrong there. I wasn’t.
Chapter Eight – Calum
I was in a much better mind space when Friday rolled around than I was the previous week. I had more time to think, more time to prepare myself to spend time with another girl who, I had to constantly remind myself, was not my ex. Bree was not Hilary; it wasn’t fair to take it all out on her. I’d been rude to her last weekend, and I would make it up to her tonight.
Tonight, everything would be about her. Not me. Not my anger at Hilary or my disappointment in my friend.