nausea. And wrong. Everything about this place screamed to me that it was so fucking wrong.
A light knock sounded on the door that led to the altar. “Come in,” I called. Phebe entered the room, now freed from her seclusion.
“It is time, my Lord,” she announced and waited at the door.
I frowned. “You are not joining Judah tonight?”
Phebe looked down at the floor. “He has chosen Sarai in my stead. She has now been awarded the role of Judah’s first consort.” Her head dropped further. “As his only consort.”
My stomach rolled as I thought of my brother taking that child. I felt sick. Phebe looked up at me as music began to drift into the room. “My Lord, it is beginning. We must go.”
Forcing my feet to move, I followed Phebe down the narrow hallway, smelling the strong scents of burning incense, listening to the instrumental music grow in volume. My heart beat in time with the fast drumbeat pulsing off the walls. I prayed to God to get me through this.
Reaching a veiled door, Phebe pointed to the inside. “This is where I leave you. I am without a partner for tonight. I am not permitted to enter.”
I stared at the door. “How many people are in there?”
Phebe followed my gaze. “Many, my Lord. Perhaps a hundred? This Lord’s Sharing is meant for only the elders and the disciples. Those who are taking on the elevated honor of awakening the sisters.”
My body tensed at Phebe’s words, and I whispered, “Awakenings…?”
“Yes, my Lord. Judah organized for all the appropriately aged girls to be gathered in commemoration of your attendance. The commune is quite abuzz that you shall be overseeing so many firsts. They believe it is a significant sign from God, that we are in his favor.”
Anger filled my veins, then I asked, “And Judah organized all this in my honor? This many… firsts... did you say?”
“Yes, my Lord. He wishes to honor you greatly. He has been excited all day.”
Waving my hand, I said, “Thank you, Sister Phebe, you may leave.”
Phebe bowed and walked away. I stayed at the door. Because I knew, as much as I believed in my people’s cause, as much as I believed I was the prophet of The Order, I knew I could not stand by and—no, I could not bless the raping of children. Nothing in my faith told me it was right under God’s eyes. Not even the supposedly revealed words of my uncle.
Then the anger rose again when I thought of Judah. We had barely spoken more than a few strained words since I released the Cursed sisters. He and Brother Luke were always together, heads joined in hushed whispers, Sarai following Judah's every word, like he was the prophet, not I.
His lies about Delilah. His secret plan to kidnap the Cursed before we were ready. And now this? The organizing of awakenings in my presence. And I knew.
He was testing me.
My own brother. My twin. My only family... Had lost faith in me.
Hearing the pained cry of a young girl, I plowed through the veil into the smoky room of the Lord’s Sharing… and the image before me as the smoke cleared would forever be burned into my memory.
Grown men, of all ages, naked and erect, were braced behind young girls, girls little older than eight years. And some were already within them. Raping them. Taking their innocence… devices between their young legs as they lay forehead to the ground, behinds raised in the air, with their hands clutched behind their backs.
I fought to hold back the vomit as a cacophony of pained cries assailed my ears. And then when I stepped forward, a young girl, braced on her knees, her face red with pain, clashed her gaze with mine. And I knew her in an instant. It was the young girl from the video. The young girl who was dancing; forced to dance for me, her pretty young face fighting back tears as she did so.
And here she was, being raped by a grown man, a man that had to be in his forties.
And I snapped.
That sight, the girl’s tears; a messed up mass rape disguised as celestial worship… it made me fucking snap.
Rushing forward, I grabbed the man forcing himself on the little girl from the video. I ripped him backwards. I ripped him backwards, and when his shocked face stared up at me, I struck. I struck and I struck, my fist pummeling his face with all