I right?”
Charlotte nods uncertainly.
“The sex was . . . unusual. But good. Better than good. Maybe rougher than I would have liked. But consensual. So . . . one Saturday morning he picks me up in his Honda Civic. We drive to an empty lot under the George Washington Bridge and meet these other guys, all driving shitty cars. Someone shoots off a gun, and we’re racing down the West Side Highway, scaring the shit out of people. Whoever reaches Battery Park first without killing someone wins. The loser buys everybody drinks. Then they do the same thing uptown, only drunk.”
“What happened then?” Charlotte is a little shocked by how rapidly this conversation has progressed from a polite, friendly chat into something much more . . . intimate. She reminds herself of how quickly Rocco’s girlfriends have appeared on the scene and then vanished. Reminds herself: Watch out. This woman is not your friend.
“After that? I stopped taking his phone calls and texts. Do I look crazy to you?”
“No.” What else can Charlotte say? A little crazy, maybe. But not nearly as nutty as Rocco’s previous girlfriends. And there’s something appealing about Ruth, something innocent and open, a brave refusal to be defeated by whatever life has in store for her.
“So tell me something.” Ruth fiddles with her necklace, then smiles. “What was the strangest sex you ever had? Weirdest place. Kinkiest. Whatever. Come on. I won’t tell your brother.”
Charlotte squints into the mist. She still can’t believe how quickly this conversation has progressed. “Once, I went home with a guy who started howling like a coyote when we were having sex.”
Ruth burst out laughing. “No! And?”
“I laughed. The guy asked me to leave.”
Charlotte hasn’t told that story in a while. All her friends have heard it. And Eli, of course, early on. She likes it that Ruth laughs. Maybe Ruth and Rocco will work out. Maybe they can be happy.
“Poor guy,” Ruth says. “Trying to find a woman who won’t mind his . . . special thing. Seeing them all freak out. The disappointment!” No one has ever said that before. Not one person—including Charlotte—wondered what it was like for him.
“My boyfriend before Rocco was so kinky, I kind of forgot what halfway-normal sex was like. He was the all-time worst, really . . . He worked at a place like this. So, okay . . . can I talk to you about something?”
Here it comes. This won’t be the first time that one of Rocco’s girlfriends has cried on Charlotte’s shoulder. She’s heard all sorts of theories about why he’s such a frustrating boyfriend.
Ruth says, “I care about your brother. Maybe he’s a tough nut on the outside, but he’s thoughtful and decent and nice. But what I want to know is . . . what did your mom do that got her sent away? Rocco’s hinted at something, but when I press him, he goes radio silent.”
Charlotte’s half smile freezes on her face. “I think that’s Rocco’s call . . . what he wants to tell you . . . It’s something . . . he doesn’t like to talk about . . . Neither of us do . . .”
“Not even a hint?” says Ruth. “I want to be there for Rocco.”
Charlotte thinks, Don’t tell him we’ve had this conversation. She hesitates to say anything that Ruth might interpret as an offer of friendship. Who is Ruth . . . really? Charlotte has the strangest sensation of seeing a forest creature streak by, just past the edge of her vision. She thinks: I’ve already said too much. Ruth’s surprisingly easy to talk to. Under other circumstances, they might have become friends . . . or, anyway, friendly. But these aren’t “other circumstances.” Ruth is Rocco’s girlfriend. Charlotte knows better than to became even slightly attached.
She says, “I’m so happy to hear you feel that way. I love my brother. I want him to be happy.”
“I do too,” Ruth says. “And . . . just to clarify: I want him to be happy with me.”
5
April 19
Charlotte
Now Ruth has taken Daisy. Ruth has stolen Daisy from her school.
Charlotte is on her way to meet Rocco and then Eli at Ruth’s apartment. Maybe Ruth will be back already. Maybe she’ll be there with Daisy.
Charlotte doesn’t feel like she has the stamina to go up and down the subway steps, especially if there’s a crowd. She taps an app on her phone. The car will arrive in two minutes. She