the Sword and turned away, facing the window.
“That’s the real reason you didn’t want to hat up and go gunning for the Denarians right at first, the way I wanted to. You were worried I was leading you into a trap.”
“I didn’t lie to you, Harry,” Michael said. “But I’d be lying right now if I didn’t admit that, yes, the thought had crossed my mind.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice perfectly calm. “What reason have I ever given you for that?”
“It isn’t that simple, Harry.”
“I’ve fought and bled to defend you and your family. I put my neck in a noose for Molly, when the Council would have killed her. I can’t even tell you how much business I’ve missed out on because of the time I’ve got to spend teaching her. What was it that tipped you off to my imminent villainhood?”
“Harry…”
Nicodemus had been right about one thing: It hurt to be suspected by my friends. It hurt like hell. I didn’t even realize I had raised my voice until I’d already screamed, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”
Michael turned his face to me, his expression grim.
“Do you think I’ve decided to side with Nicodemus and his buddies?” I snarled. “Do you really think that? Because if you do, you might was well put that Sword through my neck right now.”
“I don’t know what to think, Harry,” he said quietly. “There’s a lot you haven’t said.”
“I don’t share everything with you,” I retorted. “I don’t share everything with anyone. That’s nothing new.”
“I know it isn’t,” he said.
“Then why?” Some of the fire went out of my voice, and I felt like a half-deflated balloon. “You’ve known me for years, man. We’ve covered each other plenty of times. Why are you doubting me now?”
“Because of Lasciel’s shadow,” Michael said quietly. “Because as long as it’s in you it will tempt you—and the longer it stays, the more able it will be to do so.”
“I gave Forthill the coin,” I said. “I figured that pretty much said it all.”
Michael grimaced. “The shadow can show you how to summon the coin. It’s happened before. That’s why we’re so careful not to touch them.”
“It’s over, Michael. There is no more shadow.”
Michael shook his head, his eyes filled with something very like pity. “It doesn’t work like that, Harry.”
The fire came back. The one thing I didn’t want or need was pity. I’d made my own choices, lived my own life, and even if they hadn’t all been smart choices, there weren’t many of them that I regretted. “How do you know?” I asked.
“Because in two thousand years, no one has rid themselves of the shadow of one of the Fallen—except by accepting the demon into them entirely, taking up the coin, and living to feel remorse and discarding it. And you claim that you never took up the coin.”
“That’s right,” I said.
“Then either the shadow is still there,” Michael said, “still twisting your thoughts. Still whispering to you. Or you’re lying to me about taking up the coin. Those are the only options.”
I just stared at him for a minute. Then I said, “Hell’s bells. And I thought wizards had a monopoly on arrogance.”
He blinked.
“Or do you really expect me to believe that the Church has been there to document every single instance of anyone picking up any of the cursed coins. That they’ve followed through with everyone tempted by a Fallen’s shadow, taken testimony. Made copies. Hell, gotten it notarized. Especially given that you’ve told me that Nicodemus has worked as hard as he could to destroy the Church’s records and archives through the years.”
Michael’s weight settled back on his heels. He frowned.
“This is what they want, Michael. They want us at one another’s throats. They want us to distrust one another.” I shook my head. “And right now is not the time to give it to them.”
Michael folded his arms, studying me. “It could have done something to your mind,” Michael said quietly. “You might not be in control of yourself, Harry.”
I took a deep breath. “That’s…possible,” I admitted. “Anybody’s head can be messed with. But if you go rewiring someone’s brain, it damages them, badly. The bigger the changes you make, the worse it disorders their mind.”
“The way my daughter did to her friends,” Michael said. “I know.”
“So there are signs,” I said. “If you know the person well enough, there are almost always signs. They act differently. Have I been acting differently? Have I suddenly gone crazy