horse appears to stare back at me. It reminds me of something. As I am waiting to die, I might as well try to remember. It feels important, suddenly. Where have I seen that horse before?
I haven’t, I realize. But I saw one like it. Long ago, after Marcus ordered me to hunt Elias, and Cain took me to the ashes of an Illustrian home. He told me a story of a family who lived there. A boy. What the bleeding hells was his name? Remember. He deserves to be remembered.
But it is the Scholar slave who I remember—Siyyad. He carved the horse for the boy because he loved him like a son. And he went back for the boy, though it cost him his life.
I cannot remember the child’s name, though. And I won’t ever know this child’s name either. Is it a Scholar child? A Martial? A Mariner or a Tribal child, caught in the chaos?
It doesn’t matter. The knowledge rolls over me like an ocean wave after an earth tremor, ruthless and unending. It doesn’t matter because it was a life cut down too early. Even if he was a Karkaun child, he would still be worth mourning, because at this age, he would have been tender and soft, not yet molded by the violence of his elders.
Whoever he was, he did not deserve any of this. Adults brought this upon him. I brought this upon him. The Commandant. All of us striving for power and control, and destroying any who got in the way.
Laia of Serra knows this. Of course she does, for she has lived it. All her pent-up rage at what was done to her people—and I never understood it until now. I thought I served a great cause: protecting the Empire. But all I did was protect people who were never in any danger.
Maybe this is what Elias learned from Mamie and her stories. The ones where I never understood who the villain was and who the hero was. Maybe all of us need more stories like hers.
“S-s-sorry,” I whisper to the skeleton. “I’m so sorry.”
Skies, I hurt so many. And I only realize it now, at the end, when I am a torch no more, but an ember with no air, the great dark closing in forever.
Too late to say sorry, Helene. I think my own name for the first time in months. Too late to fix anything.
At least I saved Harper. At least he did not come with me. I let myself drift in thoughts of our kiss. It was months ago, but I remember every second. How he tasted of cinnamon, and how his eyes fell closed as he pulled me toward him, and how—
Ping. Ping. Ping.
The sound jars me from my thoughts, and I stare at the skeleton, listening. Greetings, Death, I think, and strangely, it is a relief. You come to claim me at last.
But all is silent, until, after a few minutes—
Ping. Ping. Ping.
I let myself drift into the dark. I want sleep now. I want to fall away with thoughts of Avitas Harper in my mind.
Ping. Ping. Ping.
What the bleeding hells is that noise? I try to turn, but I cannot. And then in the darkness, a voice.
“Rise, Blood Shrike, for your people have need of you yet. Loyal to the end, remember?”
“F-father?”
“Father and mother. Sister and brother and friend. Rise.”
Hands come under my arms, lift me to my feet, but when I turn to look, there is no one there, and I think perhaps there were no hands. I stagger forward, leaning against the wall, one tiny step at a time.
Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping.
That was four. The last few were only three. There’s a rhythm to the sound too, like music. Like something only a human could make.
It could be the caves. When I came here before the siege on Antium, I heard a sound just like this one. Just the caves singing their stories, Cain had said.
If that’s a song, what the bleeding skies is it saying? It won’t stop and it keeps changing. I just want to die, but it won’t let me.
“That’s it,” the voice that spoke before says. “Keep going. Find that sound.”
Soon, the sound is not a ping but something deeper, like the ringing of a bell. But no—it is too flat and short to be a bell. It is not joyous or gentle like a bell. It is cold and hard. Like me.
Ahead, I make out light and drag