blur of glacial walks in the forest, absorbing the calm atmosphere of the silent trees; avoiding the mini golf by the lake; more swimming marathons; and homemade dinners back at the house so Louise could lie down on the sofa while Carl and Christa cooked. Despite the hideous few hours when she’d thought Ted was drowned in the lake, it was probably the loveliest family holiday Louise had experienced for years. She felt a stab of pain in her chest, not caused by anything other than a deep melancholy. It had been everything Nigel had wanted it to be, and yet he hadn’t been there.
‘How was your holiday?’ Phil asked on the Monday lunchtime.
‘Oh, we had a great time, apart from the fact I put my back out and couldn’t walk very far at first. We had to ring Christa’s baby’s father to come and help out because Christa was running herself ragged with the three of them.’
‘You know you can always ask me to help, don’t you?’ Phil said quietly down the phone. ‘I don’t mind. I haven’t much going on apart from work and Oscar. But he’s with his mum some of the time. He could always come with me – he’s a lovely lad. When was the last time you saw him?’
*
‘I look ridiculous!’ Christa fumed. ‘My fucking arse is the size of two watermelons stapled together. Nothing fits me!’ Louise still couldn’t get used to Christa’s daily swearing.
‘That’s because you need the next size up. Things start changing rapidly in the final trimester.’ Louise suspected the real reason for the raging was that Lara was coming over for Sunday lunch…
‘She went a bit mental at Center Parcs,’ she told Winnie in the Dartmouth Arms over pan-fried sea bass and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc one evening. ‘Acted like Lara is the only reason she and Carl can successfully parent together apart.’
Winnie finished her mouthful before she spoke. ‘Hmmm, Christa sounds frightened of what she might be facing if she doesn’t have Lara in the way. She could have developed feelings for Carl that she wishes she hadn’t. No Lara, and she has to acknowledge what’s going on in her heart.’
‘Really? I’m not sure if she has actual feelings right now, more like she’s worried about them appearing in that clichéd rom com Hollywood trope. I think she just wants Lara as insurance to keep it strictly business and best for Valentine.’
‘Have you asked her how she really feels?’
‘God, no way! She’d rather be on her own than parent with him if he wasn’t with Lara. And she won’t want him at the birth – she said so! That’s not good for Valentine at all; he needs his daddy there for that important skin-to-skin bonding. Best leave the subject alone I think – her crazy hormones are in charge at the moment.’
‘The lady doth protest too much,’ Winnie said softly before sipping her wine.
‘I think I’m going to invite Lara for lunch. Then we can suggest regular meetings until the baby comes. Lara just needs to feel invested in it all. It’ll put Christa’s mind at rest.’
Winnie raised her eyebrows.
‘What?’
‘You know what. You’re meddling!’
‘I’m not! I’m just steering things in the right direction.’
‘What if they don’t need steering? Perhaps all three grown-ups involved will work it out for themselves?’
‘Winnie, we need to make Lara feel welcome, to keep her onside, feel an important part of it all. So this is my way of trying to help it all run smoothly.’
‘Oh dear, Lou Lou. Not God, not anyone, not even you, can change the will of men. What will be will be, and hopefully the right outcome will be what Christa and Valentine need.’
‘The right thing is me inviting Lara to lunch!’
Winnie had laughed and rolled her eyes in despair. However, Louise was already regretting it. All her invitation appeared to have done was send Christa into a frenzy. She couldn’t wait until Valentine came out and her sister returned to the normal, level-headed person she’d always been. She was finding this role reversal unsettling. At least she had wisely thought it would be easier on Lara (and now Christa) if the whole thing was diluted by Phil and Oscar joining them.
Louise had ordered a side of beef from the local butcher and was slow roasting it with an array of winter vegetables, potatoes and a stuffed squash. There was mac and cheese on the side in case Isaac had a food fuckery moment. Louise wanted it to