he is, and you know it. You also know that he would’ve taken you with him if you’d been here.”
“I would’ve refused to go and saddle him with more worries!”
“Bull. Your mouth is telling me one thing but your eyes say something completely contrary.” Dinah stood abruptly. “You’re good at giving me advice, so I’ll return the favor. Don’t be scared or stupid or both. Your McKay loves you. I recognized it because I saw it every time that mine looked at me the same way.”
Cheeky little thing.
“Don’t let doubt get a foothold because once that happens…it’ll trample you until you feel you can’t get back up.”
Ruby stood and latched onto Dinah’s arm. “What makes you say that? Nothing has changed for you.”
Dinah whirled around; her chin wobbled before she firmed it. “Let’s set aside the obvious fact that I took a life and don’t have to answer to the law for it as an action that has changed me profoundly.”
Damn. It’d been callous for Ruby to disregard that ugly truth.
“Everything has changed for me. Silas gave up his brother. I worry that he already regrets it. He’ll have to spend the rest of his life acting like someone he’s not and he resents me for that too. And if that’s not bad enough, everyone in the community is eyeing me with pity. Which they’ll continue to do when ‘Jonas’ decides to start courting his brother’s former fiancée—not that many believe we were a love match anyway because everyone reminds me that Silas couldn’t be bothered to give me an engagement ring.”
Ruby’s heart hurt for this couple.
“I miss Silas, the man I fell in love with, not the shell he’s become. We can’t go back to how we were before. I can’t spend a Saturday night with him at the cabin. There won’t be any surprise visits during the week with him bearing gifts and kisses. We have to keep our distance. I worry that the relationship we’d started to build isn’t strong enough to withstand this immense…damage. Not to mention we’d just started to explore the passion between us. I’m still a virgin. Now I’ll remain one until my wedding night. Because with my luck, if I threw caution to the wind, I’d wind up pregnant, forcing my McKay into a hurry-up wedding that would make me look even more like a charity case.”
Dinah burst into tears.
It was useless for Ruby to try and hold back her tears. So she hugged Dinah tight and wept right along with her, for what they’d both lost.
But she had to believe there was something good to be gained out of this.
When they were down to ragged sniffles, Ruby stepped back and handed Dinah her extra handkerchief and then dabbed her own eyes.
Dinah shuffled over to the cabinet and pulled out a flask. She took a generous swig and then waggled the silver flask at Ruby. “Rum?”
“Just a taste.” She palmed it and tipped it back. The sickly sweet, boozy taste kicked in her gag reflex, but she forced herself to swallow it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Dinah knocked back another slug. “I’m finding rum helps me make it through the day.”
“Don’t rely on it,” Ruby warned. “It’ll become a habit faster than you can blink. Take it from someone who has watched that ‘helper’ do serious damage to many, many friends. What you need is a plan to get your McKay back.”
“Excuse me?”
“Remember when I said you needed to talk to your man about what you wanted from him in the boudoir? You still need to do that, Dinah. Maybe now more than ever because he is finding his way in what amounts to a new life. You need to assure him that what’s between you two might look different to the outside world, but in your private time, in your private space, you’re still those two people who fell in love. You need to reestablish your place in his life, Dinah, so he can reclaim his place in yours.”
“What do you suggest I do?”
Ruby shrugged. “Start with a French perversion…or as we called it in Deadwood, a French cocksucker. That’ll get his attention.”
Dinah opened her mouth. Shut it. Blushed bright red and gulped another mouthful of rum before she blurted out, “I need specific instructions on how to do that.”
Upon finishing the demonstration with detailed directions, Ruby said, “After that, you get to the most important part: talking.”
“I’m pretty sure after I do this, he’ll consider that the most important part,” Dinah