killing me.” It’s like the words are being dragged from his throat.
I swallow hard, trying to get a grip. “You seem pretty alive to me.”
He laughs, but it’s a choked sound. When he opens his eyes, the intensity in those silvery depths nearly steals my breath away. “We either need to go inside or stop this right now.”
I’m honestly not sure which choice is the right one. “Okay.”
There I go again, letting the guy call the shots. But I truly don’t know the right move here.
As smooth and in-command as Dean has always seemed, I’m not sure he knows, either.
“So…yeah.” I swallow hard, willing myself to step back. To stop myself from doing something I’ll regret.
But my body’s edging toward the door, hungry to keep going. To see where this leads.
A sharp bark stops me in my tracks. I whip around to see Roughneck on his feet, growling into the distance. I follow his gaze to a trio of coyotes trotting across the meadow. They’re too far away to pose a threat, but Roughneck growls anyway, protecting his turf.
Something about it breaks the spell between Dean and me. He steps back, dragging a hand down his face. “We shouldn’t.”
It’s the exact opposite of what he said only a minute ago, but it’s just as true.
We should. We shouldn’t.
Both are facts, and neither is particularly convenient.
I edge toward the back door, reminding myself to breathe. To remember the cycle I’ve been through again and again with men I have no business dating.
“You’re right,” I say, even though I’m not sure at all what he meant to say. “Um, this was fun, but—”
“Right, totally. We shouldn’t do it again.”
“Agreed.”
“Glad that’s out of our system.”
I nod, even though I’m nowhere near having anything out of my system. If anything, I’m burning hotter and fiercer for Dean than I was ten minutes ago.
But I can’t say that out loud. Can he read it in my eyes as I take another step back and shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans to keep from reaching for him?
“Right, so I’ll go now.” Dean moves toward the steps, already out of reach.
At the edge of the deck, Roughneck whines and pulls at his leash.
I know the feeling, boy.
That’s the thought racing through my mind as I watch Dean walk off into the last, fading embers of sunset.
Chapter 9
CONFESSIONAL 301
Judson, Dean (CEO: Juniper Ridge)
Look, I’m not saying I always know the best way to do everything. Just that I’ve been making decisions for thirty-two years and mostly I’ve gotten them right. [clenches jaw] Mostly right. Yeah, I’ve had some fuckups in my personal life. Who hasn’t?
Next subject, please.
I shuffle the pages in front of me, skimming the words at the top of Bill Brandywine’s resume. “Tell me what you liked best about your last position. You were the Assistant Manager for Horington National Bank?”
The bespectacled man across the table sits straighter in his chair, glancing between Vanessa and me. “It was a very rewarding job,” he says. “Very rewarding. I led a team of thirty-five employees to become one of the top-performing branches in the United States.”
At the other end of the table—so far away we may as well be on other continents—Vanessa marks something on a notepad. “And you were there for nearly fifteen years,” she says. “That’s impressive dedication.”
“Yes, well, I love my work.”
Vanessa glances at me, and I try to read her mind. About the interview, not anything else. Not whether she’s spent the last few days like I have, replaying that kiss over and over until it’s like a movie I’ve watched enough to recite each word.
A faint flush darkens her cheeks as her gaze skitters away. “Tell us about why you want to be part of the show,” she says to Bill. “What interests you about Fresh Start at Juniper Ridge?”
Bill’s smile dims just a little. He folds his hands on the table and directs his response to the empty space between Vanessa and me. “I’ve had a really tough time since my divorce. Really tough.” He clears his throat. “When I read about the idea for starting over again, I thought—” He falters a bit here, fishing for words.
Vanessa gives him an encouraging smile. “Take your time. There’s no rush.”
There is actually a rush, since our next candidate arrives in less than an hour. But her soothing words put Bill at ease, and he presses on.
“I’m just looking for something different, you know? A chance to start my life