had never been with anyone in labor before and had no idea how to help.
"I don't know," Laurel gasped, panting and writhing with pain. "I think the baby might be coming," she cried, all-out panic in her voice. "What should I do? Oh God, what should I do?"
"Stay calm," Alix said, forcing confidence into her own voice, although her heart was galloping at frightening speed. She peeled back the blanket and saw that Laurel had placed a stack of towels beneath her hips. "I'm going to go and wash my hands."
"No...Don't leave me."
"I'll just be a minute."
"All right, all right." Laurel was rolling her head from side to side once more, her face shiny with sweat.
Alix berated herself for not guessing the truth earlier. But Laurel was overweight, so her pregnancy hadn't been immediately obvious. She still wore her jeans every day and they seemed to be splitting at the seams, but Alix had assumed the weight gain was from depression and her constant eating.
Alix was only away from Laurel for a moment, but her roommate grabbed her hand the instant she was back. Studying Laurel's face, Alix saw that she was in terrible pain.
"Look and see," Laurel implored. "Is it ready to come out yet?"
Alix felt completely inadequate to deliver this child. "Do you have anything for the baby?"
Laurel shook her head. "I don't want it."
"Laurel," she pleaded. "What were you going to do with the baby?" Talk about living in a dream world! Laurel had to know the infant would need clothes and blankets and bottles.
Her friend sobbed. "At first I planned to kill it."
Alix gasped. "You can't do that!"
"I don't want this baby." Laurel screamed and arched her back again when the pain overtook her. Her fingers dug into the fabric of the sofa as she slammed her eyes shut and panted. She took in deep gulps of air, her shoulders heaving with the effort.
Sitting on the edge of the sofa, Alix saw that the crown of the baby's head had appeared, thick with matted blond hair. With the next contraction, Alix carefully placed her hands beneath the tiny skull. Laurel drew in a deep breath and tried to look down at the baby but couldn't.
"It won't be much longer now," Alix promised. She felt frightened and helpless and she hoped she was telling the truth.
No more than a minute later, Laurel grunted and started panting again. Suddenly, the infant slipped free. He seemed to glide directly into Alix's hands. With him came a gush of water and blood.
Tears filled Alix's eyes. "It's a boy," she told Laurel. He didn't cry right away and Alix's heart leapt in panic. Acting on instinct, she placed her finger inside his mouth, swabbing it clean. Then she turned him over on his belly and patted his back. Instantly he let out a fierce, belligerent cry. Joy surged through Alix and she stared up at her friend. "He's beautiful," she said, awed by the wonder of this moment. A new life had just entered the world.
Laurel refused to look at him and turned her face away. "Cut the cord," she instructed without emotion.
"I...I don't think I should..."
"Do it," Laurel demanded. "Or I'll do it myself."
"All right, all right." Alix found a knife in the kitchen and, afraid she might infect either her friend or the baby, put it in a pan full of water, which she set on the stove to boil. She dashed back into the living room just in time to deliver the afterbirth.
As soon as she'd cut the cord, Alix took the baby into the bathroom and cleaned him off. Then she wrapped him in the blanket she'd knit in class. Certain Laurel would have a change of heart now that the birth was over, Alix carried the newborn into the living room, hoping to coax her roommate into at least glancing at her son.
"Just look at him once," Alix pleaded. "He's perfect, Laurel."
Laurel refused again with a shake of her head. "Get rid of it."
Alix couldn't believe anyone could be so coldhearted. "I can't do that."
"Then give it to me and I will."
"Will...what will you do?" Alix protectively cradled the infant.
"I'll take it to some Dumpster and leave it there."
Laurel didn't even seem to consider this infant a child. She referred to him as "it."
"You really mean that, don't you?" she said in a horrified voice. "You don't want this baby."
"How many times do I have to say it?" Laurel shouted. "Get rid of that thing."