you deserve to make your own decision without me influencing you. More importantly, your baby deserves a father of your choosing.”
And, damn it, she should choose him! But Aidan couldn’t say that out loud.
She nodded slowly. “So you’re saying you’d be fine if I decided that Blake or some other man would be a better choice to be the father of my child.”
Hell, no! Was she going to make him say it out loud? Aidan wasn’t sure he could. Finally he uttered the only thing left to say. “If that’s what you want to do.”
*
Ellie couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. Her heart felt as if it were breaking in a thousand little bits. Did he really want her to choose Blake, or did he think he was being noble, offering her a choice? She had to remember that in the beginning, all Aidan had really wanted was to keep her on the island. If she went back to Blake, that goal would be achieved. As Aidan would say, it was a win-win.
Of course, there was no win for Ellie because apparently Aidan would be perfectly happy to see her go, and yet she would never return to Blake. She wasn’t about to admit that to Aidan, though. Not now, with him so unwilling to take a stand either way.
Her head was spinning in confusion and pain. Could he really just let her go? She pressed a fist to her heart. Why did it have to hurt so much? She had tried so hard to avoid those pitfalls into which her mother had descended and now she herself was spiraling down into her own personal hell.
Right now there was only one thing she knew for sure. She needed to get away and think this through. She needed to stay away from Aidan and sadly, she couldn’t do that if they were having sex together.
“What’s going on, Ellie?” he said, a note of concern in his voice. “What are you thinking?”
She took a deep breath and gazed up at him. “I need some time to think, Aidan. I admit you’ve confused me. I need to stay away from you for a little while, just until I can put things into perspective.”
His eyes narrowed on her. “Exactly what does that mean, Ellie?”
“It means we won’t be having sex for a while.”
“What?” he said. “Why the hell not?”
He looked so outraged that she squeezed his hand to comfort him. “I’m so sorry. I know our arrangement is strictly business, so maybe this is unfair of me to say. But I have to be honest with you. It’s upsetting to hear that you don’t have a problem with my going back to Blake. I thought we were having so much fun together, but now I see…well, I’m not sure of anything right now. Please just give me a little time to figure out what my next move will be.”
“What if you find out you’re pregnant?” Aidan said.
“Oh.” She had to blink back a sudden wash of tears. She hadn’t even taken that possibility into consideration. She took a few more deep breaths, then said, “I hadn’t even thought about that. But if I find out I’m pregnant, there’ll be no need to wonder who the father should be.”
*
Ellie folded another crisp cloth napkin and added it to the pile. Ever since she was a young girl, whenever she needed to think about something important, she liked to do it while ironing. It was a mindless yet productive activity so she was able to accomplish something while doing almost nothing but allowing words and images to zip around in her head.
There was no way in the world she would ever start dating Blake again. Didn’t Aidan know that? Of course he did. He was just feeling guilty about trying to influence her feelings about Blake.
But what annoyed the holy heck out of her wasn’t the fact that Aidan had come to offer her a choice to go back to Blake or not. No, it was the fact that he didn’t care one way or another what she chose to do! That’s what bothered her most. It hurt, frankly. She was bewildered and uncertain and just a little panicky about what to do next.
The smartest thing to do would be to avoid Aidan for the next two weeks, until she found out if she was pregnant or not. It wouldn’t be easy because every time she saw him, all she wanted to do was kiss