Shattered Rose (Winsor Series) - By T L Gray Page 0,29

and the other, well, he has LOTS of love interests.”

Jake smiled but kept his piercing eyes to mine. “I still didn’t like it,” he whispered before kissing me again. He pulled me on his lap and we made out shamelessly in the park. Finally, I pulled away and looked around, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Tonight,” he said gruffly before getting up. I just nodded.

He drove off after sending one last wave my way. My head was so far in the clouds that I hardly remembered running the last three miles home.

I was still in a daze as I showered and dressed for the day. I had missed my first class, but could make it to my second one if I hurried. The phone rang as I walked out the door, and I spent the next five minutes detailing the evening events to Cara who already didn’t have a high opinion of Jake.

“So, did he say you guys were exclusive then?” she asked with an air of irritation in her voice.

“No.”

“Ok, did he at least say he wasn’t dating those girls anymore?”

“No.”

“Avery!”

“What? I don’t care, ok? He likes me. He practically said I was the one who he thought about when he woke up and went to sleep. Besides, I’m a private person too. I totally get him not wanting to expose his personal life to the college paparazzi.” I was feeling so exasperated with her interrogation that I was practically speed walking to class, barely registering the other students as I passed.

“Ok…ok. So, how did you cope when you saw him at the bar? Any relapses?” She hesitated as she asked me that, and my guilt and shame over my continual failure all manifested in anger.

“Cara, why do you always have to go back to that? No, I told you, I’m doing fine with it. Sometimes I wish I had never confided in you. Its like we can’t talk about anything else now.”

“Avery, we talked about it all summer. You told me to ask you. Why are you being so defensive?”

“Because it feels like all you do is judge me now. It’s like having a third parent.” I knew I was being unreasonable, and that she was only trying to help. But it didn’t matter, it was my life…my secret, and I didn’t need her intrusion.

“That’s not what I’m trying to do. I don’t know how to be here for you anymore,” she explained with a catch in her voice. I knew I had hurt her.

“Just laugh with me and be happy for me. Can you do that?”

“I’ll try.” She was quiet and then attempted to change her tone. “Call me later and tell me how the date goes, ok?”

“Ok…talk to you then.” I let out a sigh and sat down in my class chair. My conversations with Cara were just getting more and more trying. I also felt horribly guilty for lying to her, but I didn’t want her to know what was going on. I didn’t want to talk about it. I had it under control, and she would just freak out.

My class did nothing to improve my mood, as the professor worked problems on the board with such speed, I had no hope in following.

I left class feeling miserable and anxious as I tried to mentally and emotionally prepare for the evening. The afternoon flew by and before I knew it, it was only two hours before Jake would be here, and I was at my wits end on what to wear. Nothing looked good and I was bloated. Issy had ordered takeout for lunch and I ate way too much. I felt like a stuffed pig. How was I supposed to go on a date with Jake tonight feeling like this? I heard one door shut and then another outside my room.

I poked my head out, “Issy?” No answer. Oh, thank God! I ran to my bathroom, shut the door and forced myself to get rid of my lunch. I knew it didn’t help—that I never really lost weight by throwing up, but it made me feel better anyway. It calmed me down and allowed me to see the evening rationally instead of emotionally.

It was my first real date with Jake, and I had to look perfect. He was charming and deep, more handsome than any man I’d ever known, and for some reason he wanted to be with me. I thought of the two other women I had seen him with and looked at my body