explain to me why I would have any wish to discuss my private life with you, Mrs. Cadbury.”
“It’s not your private life I’m interested in, your lordship. It’s Melisande’s. You don’t mean well by her—any fool can see that, and I won’t see her heart broken.”
This time he didn’t bother to hide his amusement. “I don’t have any particular interest in Lady Carstairs’s heart.”
Emma Cadbury shot him an angry, contemptuous look, and he noticed for a moment that she really was magnificent. Not to his particular taste, but then, those tastes seemed to be getting more and more narrow. “Do you think I don’t know that, your lordship? It’s not her heart that you desire. I have been in the business of men’s particular interests for many years, and I understand them quite well. Melisande’s innocence intrigues you, and like most men you find it a challenge. You don’t like that she’s chosen to eschew the selfish desires of your gender, and you fool yourself into thinking it would be a kindly act on your part to awaken her to the so-called pleasures of the flesh.”
He stifled an uncomfortable response, raising an eyebrow, as if he hadn’t been thinking that very thing. “So-called, madam? Am I to infer that during your short but impressive career you never experienced those ‘so-called pleasures of the flesh’?”
If he’d hoped to disconcert her he’d failed. “That, my lord, is none of your business. We are discussing my benefactress, not my personal life.”
“We’re discussing my personal life—yours should be equally open for perusal. Though in truth I don’t really care about your dubious past, and I do assume it’s in your past. Unless of course you have managed to convert Lady Carstairs to the joys of Sapphic encounters and I have misunderstood the nature of this house. Pray enlighten me.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Not at all. I have no opinion of that particular variation, save when it affects women who interest me. Does it?”
Mrs. Cadbury straightened her already straight back, recovering. “Your prurient interest does you no credit. But I will be more than happy to satisfy it. It is not unknown among some of Lady Carstairs’s rescues. Some have been grievously treated by men, some simply have that inclination, and it matters not to us. But no, my concern for Lady Carstairs’s well-being is that of a grateful, loving friend and nothing more. And if she were of a Sapphic inclination I would hardly be worried about your effect on her.”
His effect on her. She wasn’t taking into account Lady Carstairs’s deleterious effect on him, he thought resentfully. “I find this conversation boring, Mrs. Cadbury.” He was genuinely tired, and he didn’t bother to stifle his rude yawn. “Say what you wish to say and allow me to retire.”
“I want you to leave Melisande alone. She needs a good man, a gentle man, not someone with your reputation. Some women do very well with a cold-hearted rake. Melisande would not be one of them, even assuming you mean marriage, which I am assured you do not. You wish to bed her and then discard her for another diversion, do you not?”
He knew a moment’s discomfort, but he regarded her blandly. “Pray, continue.”
“I hope with all my heart that Melisande can find a kind man to marry her, someone who will understand her work and help her with it, someone who treats her with respect and cherishes her. I doubt you’ve ever cherished anyone in your entire life.”
He didn’t let even a flicker of reaction cross his face as he thought of his beloved Annis, dying in childbirth and taking his son with her. “I’ve done my best not to,” he drawled.
“Then leave Lady Carstairs alone!”
He could stand this no longer. He rose, half expecting her to rap a ruler on the desk and order him to sit again. But of course she did no such thing. He looked down at her, once more admiring her beauty in a distant, appreciative manner. “You may set your mind at rest, Mrs. Cadbury. This uncomfortable conversation was entirely unnecessary. My only connection with Lady Carstairs has been in service of discovering exactly what the Heavenly Host are up to. With her injury she will no longer be able to go into society, at least for the all-important days leading up to their next gathering, and I will have to persevere on my own. I will, of course, keep her apprised of my success or failure, though I imagine a note