try to keep quiet, until he got his hand over her mouth to help her, which was when she came again.
And when, at last, he was over her, resting on his elbows, his hands cupping her head, thrusting long and slow and deep, waiting until she couldn’t stand it anymore, until she was asking for more, and then going faster, and finally, driving into her like he never wanted it to end, piercing to the heart of her …
She came so hard, she cried.
He was over her, doing his best to wrap himself around her. She was crying. Why was she crying?
The fear twisted in him. What had he been thinking, using her that hard?
“Hey.” He kissed her eyelids, tasted the salt of her tears. “Hey, baby. What? Too rough? Did I hurt?”
She shook her head, and her hand came up to grasp his shoulder. It was shaking a little, and he smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her temple. “What? Tell me.”
“It just felt …” She tried to laugh, and couldn’t quite do it. “So good. I’ve been trying not to … want you. You’ve been my … secret. My fantasy. I thought … that’s all right. It’s been freeing, the piercing, letting my … mind go, and that’s good, but it isn’t real. But you’re so … so real. And it feels too good, and I …”
He kissed her some more, then rolled with her so they were on their sides. “Hey,” he said gently. “Yeah. Me, too.”
Her eyes searched his. His leg was over hers, his arm around her, holding her close to him, like he could hold her right here with him. “Me, too,” he said again. “I wasn’t going to push it. I mean, obviously, not with the whole pregnancy deal. And everything that’s happened. It’s too much. But when you show up in a guy’s room in the middle of the night and tell him you’ve done something secret and dirty, and invite him to find it for himself … well, there’s only so much self-control a man has.”
“I showed up because I thought you were in pain,” she said, but she was smiling now.
“Well,” he said, “you were right.”
Another smile, another kiss, and he said, “If I give you back your nightgown, will you stay with me?”
It wasn’t forever. It was for now. They both know it. But it felt so good to have her here. She wound her arms around him, and he pulled her in a little closer, looked into those golden eyes, and lost himself a little.
She said, “I’ll stay with you. And I don’t need the nightgown.”
38
Sins of the Fathers
The next morning, he was sitting with all of them—Annabelle, Alison, Vanessa, and Jennifer—on a bench in the courtroom. Around them, others waited. Sometimes a woman alone. Sometimes an entire family. The atmosphere tense, especially when another defendant walked through the door dressed in orange, handcuffed and escorted by deputies whose eyes never stopped moving. And it had lasted for over two hours already.
It was like a movie, except that you were living it. And that it was more boring.
Jennifer had offered to stay with the kids so Steve could come with Alison, and he’d wanted to tell her, No. I want you there. Selfish of him in every way there was. Selfish not to let Alison have that comfort, and selfish to expect Jennifer to provide it, so he’d shut up.
Especially since Jennifer had been making French toast at the time. Back to looking cheerful, and so pretty again in a pair of stretchy gray jeans and a turquoise top with long sleeves and a wrap front that showed a bit of cleavage, because she had so much going on under there, she couldn’t help it. She’d changed into those clothes just about as soon as she’d climbed out of his bed in the gray light of morning, when she’d found the thin white nightgown, pulled it down over her body, and been covered up … not much at all.
He’d grabbed her wrist, pulled her back down onto the side of the bed, and said, “Stay.”
“No,” she’d said, then leaned over and kissed his mouth so sweetly. She trailed her hand down his jaw, smiled into his eyes, and said, “Time to go back to the real world. Cinderella doesn’t get to dance with the prince forever.”
He could still see that little swell of belly through her nightgown, because it was just that thin. He could