my voice from being bitter or my face from being grim.
Jack looked at me as though I better not draw this out. So I told him quickly and succinctly what Gerry McClanahan, aka Gibson Banks, had proposed to me. And what I had done.
"I could kill him," Jack said. I looked at Jack's face, and believed him. "I can't believe the son-of-a-bitch made you that offer." When Jack got mad, he got mad all over; there was no mistaking it. He was furious. "I'm going to go over and talk to him right now."
"No, please, Jack." I took his hands. "You can't go over there mad. Besides, he might be on patrol." I had a flash of an idea, something about Jack and his temper and impulsive nature, but in the urgency of the moment it went by me too fast for me to register it.
"Then I'll find him in his car." Jack shook my hands off. I could see that something about my becoming pregnant had smothered Jack's sure knowledge that I was a woman who could definitely take care of herself. Or maybe it was because our brief life together was being threatened; that was what had shaken me so badly.
"You can come with me if you're afraid I'll kill the bastard," Jack said, reading me correctly. "But I'm going to talk to him tonight." Again, I felt as if I ought to be drawing a conclusion, as if somewhere in my brain a chime was ringing, but I couldn't make the necessary connections.
I didn't feel as though I had enough energy left to walk to the car, much less trail after Jack over to the writer's house. But I had to. "Okay. Let's go," I said, getting to my feet. I pulled my cheap rain slicker from the little closet in the living room, and Jack got his. I grabbed my cell phone. "We need to take the car," I said, trying not to sound as shaky as I felt. "I don't want to walk in the dark."
That didn't fool Jack. I could see he knew I was weak. He shot me a sharp look as he fished his car keys from his pocket, and I saw that even concern for my well-being was not about to divert him from his goal of confronting the writer. Jack waited, barely holding his impatience in check, until I climbed in the passenger's seat, and then we were off. Jack even drove mad.
There were lights on in the small house. Oh, hell, McClanahan was home. No matter how he'd upset me that day, I'd found myself wishing he'd be at the police station, or out on patrol, anything but home alone. I got out of the passenger seat to follow Jack up the sidewalk to the front door. He banged on it like the cop he'd formerly been.
No answer.
The author could have looked out to see who was visiting, and decided to remain silent. But Gerry had struck me as a man who would relish such a confrontation, just so he could write about it afterward.
Jack knocked again.
"Help!" shouted a man's voice, from behind the house. "Help me!"
I vaulted over the railing around the porch and landed with both feet on the ground, giving my innards a jolt that sent them reeling. Oh, God, it hurt. I doubled over gasping while Jack passed me by. He paused for a second, and I waved my hand onward, urging him to go to the help of whoever was yelling.
I was sure I needed to go home to wash myself and change my pad. I felt I was leaking blood at the seams. But the pain abated, and I walked to the voices I was hearing at the back of the house.
I could barely make out Jack and - was that Cliff Eggers? - bent over something huddled in the darkness by the corner of the hedge that separated the rear of this house from the house behind it. I could see the back of Tamsin's house to my right, and its rear light was shining benignly over the back door. There was a bag of garbage abandoned on the ground beside Cliff, who was covered with dark splotches. I'd only seen him dressed for work, but I could make out that Cliff was wearing only a formerly white T-shirt and ancient cutoff shorts.
"Don't come closer, Lily," Jack called. "This is a crime scene."
So I squatted in the high grass next to the