I said, because she was looking for reassurance. "Dill's not a kid, and it's not his first marriage. I don't think any of his local friends are likely to get that carried away." I sat down at my place.
"You're right," Mom said with some relief. "You always have such good sense, Lily."
Not always.
"Are you... seeing anyone... now, honey?" Mom asked gently.
I stared up at her as she hovered over the table, plates in her hands. I almost said no automatically.
"Yes."
The fleeting look of sheer relief and pleasure that flashed across my mother's pale, narrow face was so intense I felt like taking back my yes. I was feeling my way with Jack every hour we were together, and to have our relationship classified as a standard dating situation made me horribly anxious.
"Can you tell me a little about him?" Mom's voice was calm, her hands steady as she set the plates down at our places. She sat down across from me and began to stir sugar into her tea.
I had no idea what to say.
"Oh, that's all right, I don't want to intrude on your privacy," she said after a moment, flustered.
"No," I said just as quickly. It seemed awful to me that we were so leery of each other's every word and silence. "No, that's ... no, it's OK. He..." I pictured Jack, and a tide of longing swept over me, so intense and painful that it took my breath away. After it ebbed, I said, "He's a private detective. He lives in Little Rock. He's thirty-five."
My mother put her sandwich down on her plate and began smiling. "That's wonderful, honey. What's his name? Has he been married before?"
"Yes. His name is Jack Leeds."
"Any kids?"
"No."
"That's easier."
"Yes."
"Though I know little Anna so well now, at first when Dill and Varena began dating ... Anna was so little, not even toilet trained, and Dill's mother didn't seem to want to come to take care of Anna, though she was a cute little toddler...."
"That worried you?"
"Yes," she admitted, nodding her faded blond head. "Yes, it did. I didn't know if Varena could handle it. She never enjoyed baby-sitting very much, and she never talked about having babies, like most girls do. But she and Anna seemed to take to each other just fine. Sometimes she gets fed up with Anna's little tricks, and sometimes Anna reminds Varena that she isn't her real mother, but for the most part they get along great."
"Dill wasn't in the car wreck that killed his wife?"
"No, it was a one-car accident. Evidently, Judy, his wife, had just dropped off Anna at a sitter's."
"That was before Dill moved here?"
"Yes, just a few months before. He'd been living up northwest of Little Rock. He says he felt he just couldn't bear to raise Anna there, every day having to pass the spot where his wife died."
"So he moves to a town where he doesn't know a soul, where he doesn't have any family to help him raise Anna." I spoke before I thought.
My mother gave me a sharp look. "And we're mighty glad he did," she said firmly. "The pharmacy here was up for sale, and it's been wonderful to have it open, so we have a choice." There was a chain pharmacy in Bartley, too.
"Of course," I said, to keep the peace.
We finished our meal in silence. My father stomped through on his way out the kitchen door to his car, grousing the whole time about not fitting in at a bachelor dinner. We could tell he was really gleeful about being invited. He had a wrapped present tucked under his arm, and when I asked what it was, his face turned even redder. He pulled on his topcoat and slammed the back door behind him without answering.
"I suspect he bought one of those nasty gag gifts," Mom said with a little smile as she listened to Father back out of the driveway.
I loved getting surprised by my mother. "I'll do the dishes while you get ready," I said.
"You need to try on your bridesmaid dress!" she said abruptly as she was rising to leave the kitchen.
"Right now?"
"What if we need to take it up?"
"Oh... all right." This was not a moment I'd anticipated with any pleasure. Bridesmaids' dresses are notorious for being unusable, and I'd paid for this one as a good bridesmaid should. But I hadn't seen it yet. I had a horrible, wincing moment of picturing the dress as red velvet with fake fur trim