“This is serious.”
“Maybe.”
“But you haven’t talked to him since then?”
“No,” she murmured.
“Does he not feel the same way you do?”
Serena blinked and stared into space. She thought about the letter Ajax had left for her at Jasmine’s the morning he left. “I think he feels even stronger than me. The ball is in my court.”
“Then why haven’t you gone after him?”
Serena jerked her gaze toward Aunt Ruth again. “I’m scared.”
Aunt Ruth’s smile was so warm and kind. “I can understand that.”
“And my life has been here for so long. He doesn’t belong in this world. It would be absurd to ask him to come here.”
“Do you belong in this world, Serena?”
Aunt Ruth’s words made Serena flinch. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t you though? Sweetheart, you’ve always been bigger than this town. From the time you came here. Your wingspan is much broader. You should spread those wings out and do what makes you happy. You can’t stay here all your life being lonely just because you think it’s expected of you. You have to live for yourself. Find what makes you happy and go for it. If Ajax makes you happy, you shouldn’t spend even one more day here martyring yourself.”
Serena pursed her lips. Was Aunt Ruth right? “Mom…”
“Your mom is not you. And I think you underestimate her. She loves you. Talk to her. Tell her. I don’t think you will get the negative reaction you fear.”
But what if I do? It would kill Serena to hurt her mother. She looked at Aunt Ruth again. “Do you think she loved my father?”
Aunt Ruth frowned. “With all her heart.”
Serena nodded slowly. It was all so confusing.
“I know things are different here. Especially inside the church. And I know you don’t feel connected to people from the congregation. But have you ever considered the fact that it just doesn’t really suit you?”
Serena shrugged.
“Your mother always loved this town and the church. She was one of the lucky ones. She loved your father dearly too. She knew that before they were even adults. I know in my heart they were a love match. But you have a different spark, sweetheart. You aren’t your mom, and she doesn’t expect you to be.”
More tears fell.
Aunt Ruth handed her another napkin.
“He left me a letter,” Serena whispered. She reached into her pocket and pulled it out. She hadn’t gone anywhere without it since she’d last seen him. She hadn’t shown it to anyone either, not even Jasmine.
She opened it now, unfolded it, and flattened it on the table between them.
As Aunt Ruth leaned over to read the words, Serena read it for the millionth time too.
Serena,
There are no words to describe how I feel about you. They would be inadequate anyway. You know. Please understand why I’m leaving you like this. I won’t risk your life another minute. I want you to get on a flight out of this country as soon as possible. I want to know you’re safe.
Do not worry about me. I have nine lives. I’ve only lived two of them so far. I have seven left. I hope you’re smiling. I need to finish this mission, and you need to get to safety. I promise I will be right behind you in a few days.
Serena, baby, I know we come from different worlds. I don’t know if they can mesh together. I can’t make hard decisions for you, so I won’t contact you when I get home.
You will need time to process how you feel. Take all the time you need. I know I’m not the sort of person you ever visualized spending your life with. I also know we’ve only known each other a week.
Maybe the intensity of our relationship stemmed from the circumstances. From both of us so far out of our element. Together twenty-four seven. Stressed. Uncertain about the future. So many possibilities.
You might convince yourself of that, but I don’t believe it. I think we have something special and infinite together. If you agree with me, you know how to find me. If not, I won’t bother you.
It’s okay if you’re scared. And I’ll understand if you never come to me. It’s a huge step. But know that I will never forget you. I’m in love with you. I will never love another the way I love you, Serena.
If you don’t feel the same, please do me a favor. Never settle. Not with a life partner. Find someone you can’t live without. Demand that he give you everything you