stopped struggling and looked out at me. "Are you serious?"
"I have something he wants. And now he has someone I want."
"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."
"I was hoping you could help me find her."
Mary Maggie opened her door and Lula and I invited ourselves in. I didn't think I'd find Grandma tucked away in a closet, but I had to look anyway. The apartment was nice but not that large. Open floor plan living room and dining room and kitchen. One bedroom. Bath and a half. It was tastefully furnished with classic pieces. Soft colors. Grays and beiges. And of course there were books everywhere.
"I honestly don't know where he is," Mary Maggie said. "He asked to borrow my car. He's done it before. When the owner of the club asks to borrow something it's a good idea to loan it to him. And besides, he's a nice old man. After you were here I went to his nephew and told him I wanted my car back. Eddie was bringing it back when you and your friend ambushed him in my garage. I haven't heard from him since."
The bad news was that I believed her. The good news was that Ronald DeChooch communicates with his uncle.
"Sorry about your shoe," Mary Maggie said to Lula. "We looked for it, but we couldn't find it."
"Hunh," Lula said.
Lula and I didn't talk until we got to the garage.
"What do you think?" Lula asked.
"I think we need to visit Ronald DeChooch."
I cranked the bike over, Lula climbed on, and we tore through the garage like judgment day and headed for Ace Pavers.
"We're pretty lucky we got good jobs," Lula said when I pulled up to Ronald DeChooch's brick office building. "We could be working at a place like this, smelling tar all day, always having chunks of black stuff stuck to the bottom of our shoes."
I got off the bike and removed my helmet. The smell of hot asphalt lay heavy in the air, and beyond the locked gate the blackened rollers and pitch trucks gave off shimmering waves of heat. There were no men in sight, but clearly the equipment had just come off a job.
"We're going to be professional but assertive," I said to Lula.
"You mean we're not taking any crap from that roody-poo jabroni Ronald DeChooch."
"You've been watching wrestling again," I said to Lula.
"I've got it on tape so I can do reruns of The Rock," Lula said.
Lula and I puffed ourselves up and marched in without knocking. We weren't going to be put off by a bunch of card-playing jerks. We were going to get answers. We were going to get respect.
We barreled through the small entrance hall and again without knocking went straight to the inside office. We whipped the doors open and came face-to-face with Ronald DeChooch playing hide-the-salami with the clerical help. Actually it wasn't face-to-face because DeChooch had his back to us. More correctly, he had his big hairy ass to us because he was doing the poor woman doggy-style. His pants were around his ankles and the woman was bent over the card table, holding on for all she was worth.
There was a moment of shocked silence, and then Lula started laughing.
"You should think about having your ass waxed," Lula said to DeChooch. "That is one ugly butt."
"Christ," DeChooch said, pulling his pants up. "A man can't even have relations in his own office."
The woman jumped up and adjusted her skirt and tried to stuff her boobs back into her bra. She scuttled away, looking mortally embarrassed, with her panties in her hand. I hoped she was being well compensated.
"Now what?" DeChooch said. "You have something special in mind, or you just come to see a show?"
"Your uncle kidnapped my grandmother."
"What?"
"He took her yesterday. He wants to ransom her for the heart."
The surprise in his eyes ratcheted up a notch. "You know about the heart?"
Lula and I exchanged glances.
"I . . . um, have the heart," I said.
"Jesus Christ. How the fuck did you get the heart?"
"It don't matter how she got it," Lula said.
"Right," I said. "What matters is that we get this all settled. First off, I want my grandmother back home. And then I want Mooner and Dougie."
"Your grandmother I might be able to arrange," Ronald said. "I don't know where my Uncle Eddie's hiding out, but I talk to him once in a while. He's got a cell phone. Those other two are something different. I don't know anything