the six spots were already gone. With a disagreement hanging between Maxon and me, would he send me home? Did he not see any future with me? Did I want him to? What would I do if I had to go?
This whole time, the power had been in my hands as to when I would leave. I was abruptly aware of how important it was to me to stay.
“Lady Natalie and Lady Celeste,” he continued, looking at them both in turn. I cringed at Celeste’s name. He couldn’t keep her and not me. I could hardly believe he was keeping her at all. But was that a sign I was going? We’d fought about her very presence here.
“Lady Elise,” he said, and the room inhaled a breath, awaiting the final name. I realized Tiny and I were squeezing each other’s hands.
“And Lady America.” Maxon looked over at me, and I felt every muscle in my body relax. Tiny started bawling immediately, and she wasn’t alone. Maxon let out a long sigh.
“To everyone else, I’m incredibly sorry, but I hope you all trust me when I say that I meant this to be a good thing for you. I don’t want to raise anyone’s hopes for no reason and risk your life in the process. If anyone who is leaving wants to speak to me, I’ll be in the library down the hall, and you may visit me as soon as you’ve finished eating.”
Maxon walked out of the room as quickly as he could without running. I watched him until he crossed in front of Aspen, and then my attention was diverted. Aspen’s face was confused, and I knew why. I’d told him I didn’t love Maxon, so he would have assumed I meant next to nothing to Maxon as well. So why would I be so tense about staying or going? And why would Maxon want to keep me around?
Before a second had passed, Emmica and Tuesday were running after Maxon, no doubt looking for an explanation. Some girls were in tears, obviously heartbroken, and it fell on those of us remaining to comfort them.
It was unbearably awkward. Tiny ended up swatting away my hands and running out of the room. I hoped she wouldn’t hold any bitter feelings against me.
People left within minutes, no longer hungry. I didn’t linger myself, unable to handle the outpouring of emotion. As I passed Aspen, he whispered “tonight.” I gave a tiny nod and went on my way.
The rest of the morning was odd. I’d never really had friends that I would miss. All the occupied rooms on the second floor were open, and girls scurried in and out, passing notes and gathering addresses. We cried together and laughed together, and by the afternoon, the palace had turned into a far more serious place than it was when we came.
No one was left in my little wing of the hall, so there was no sound of maids rushing to and fro, or of doors closing. I sat at my table, reading a book as my maids dusted. I wondered if the palace always felt this lonely. The emptiness made me miss my family.
Suddenly a knock came at the door. Anne rushed to get it, looking at me to make sure I was prepared for a visitor. I gave her a small nod.
When Maxon came into the room, I jumped to my feet.
“Ladies,” he said, looking to my maids. “We meet again.”
They curtsied and giggled. He acknowledged them and turned his eyes to me. I hadn’t realized how eager I was to see him. I stood by the table in a daze.
“Do forgive me, but I need to speak with Lady America. Would you give us a moment?”
There was more curtsying and giggling, and Anne asked—with a tone that implied near worship of the prince—if she could bring him anything. Maxon declined, and they left us. He had his hands in his pockets. We were silent for a while.
“I thought you might not keep me,” I finally admitted.
“Why?” he asked, sounding honestly confused.
“Because we fought. Because everything between us is weird. Because…” Because even though you’re dating five other women, I think I’m cheating on you, I thought.
Maxon closed the distance between us slowly, choosing his words as he walked. When he finally reached me, he picked up my hands in his and explained everything.
“First, let me say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” His voice was completely sincere. “It’s just that