SECRETS & LIES 7 (Secrets & Lies #7) - H.M. Ward Page 0,15

It’s like he has no words, which is really strange for Josh.

Sucking in air, I realize I’m the one who’ll be calling the shots. Josh seems to be fighting the fear that keeps freezing him in place. I want to melt him, to make him see he’s not the guy that raped that girl. I don’t know exactly what happened that night, but it’s clear he’s not that man now. I lose my shoes first, stepping out of them as I walk toward Josh. Next, I pull my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor. Then I unbutton my jeans and kick them to the side. I’m wearing one of my new lacy bra and panty sets. It’s light pink with a floral design in the lace. I feel pretty, confident, and completely sexy. My body warms as I approach him. I consider stripping, but that would be too fast for him.

When I stop in front of Josh, I tug at his shirt and pull it from his body before I splay my hands on his toned chest. He remains perfectly still until I lean in and press my lips to his. I kiss him hard and push him back toward the couch until we fall on the cushions with me on top. His body feels good beneath mine, warm and hard. His hands touch my skin hesitantly at first, but then more firmly. His fingers drift from my waist and then up to my breasts. He cups me, holding me gently. Not too long ago, that would have satisfied me, but not now. I want rough passion. I want to forget myself completely when I’m with him. I begin to wriggle my bottom against his hips and feel the pressure of his hard package beneath his jeans.

Josh’s hands tighten on my body as he moans into my mouth. As he relaxes, the kiss changes. One of his hands lifts and finds my face. He sweeps his fingers along my cheek, tangles them in my hair, and pulls my neck down hard, holding me in place.

My mind drifts toward thoughts of Nate’s lips to the way his hands feel against my skin. Everything Josh does is compared to Nate. I can’t help it. This isn’t the same, and I desperately need it to be more. I slip my thighs apart, straddle his hips, and sit up. I reach behind my back and unclasp my bra, freeing my aching breasts. They want to be touched. They long to be held and kissed. Josh’s green gaze lingers on my naked chest as his hands slowly rise from my hips and up to my chest. When his hands cover me, he squeezes me possessively. I tip my head back and breathe in slowly, enjoying the sensation and trying to banish thoughts of Nate, of the way he touched me there, of how it was different, better.

I need to lose myself in Josh. I wonder if I can. Looking down at him, I reach for his button and then lower his zipper. I move off of him and pull his jeans off, tossing them aside before climbing back onto his lap. He’s still wearing boxers, but there’s nothing to keep us apart now. If he wants me, he can have me.

The afternoon light feels warm and wonderful on my skin. Josh watches the way the sunlight falls on me, and when I lean down to kiss him, things shift. The control he possessed before fizzles as the kiss becomes hotter. His hands rove my body, one slipping under my panties to cup my ass as I grind against him.

We stay like that until Josh is lost in the kisses, in the heat of the moment. I keep waiting for that to come, but it doesn’t. My mind is sabotaging me. Josh’s lips are nice, but they’re not Nate's. They’re not as full as Nate’s, and they don’t move the same way. Josh’s body is firm, and his muscles feel powerful beneath mine. I like the way he moves against me, and I’m turned on, I feel it—but there’s something wistful lingering at the back of my mind. There’s something else I really want that isn’t here.

Fuck it. Nate isn’t mine, and I’m not going to waste this opportunity with Josh. He’s a good guy no matter what the police report says. I roll and pull him on top of me, letting him crush me into the couch. His lips drop to