SECRETS & LIES 7 (Secrets & Lies #7) - H.M. Ward Page 0,14
it when I first strip naked, but not now. It’s a room with a view.”
“It’s a football field of a room," I say, ignoring his swagger and verbal bait. "Josh, it’s gorgeous. Can’t you tell?”
He glances around and shrugs. “I like the privacy and the amenities. I don’t really notice the view anymore. My parents have taken us to places like this since we were kids. This location is tame compared to some.” There’s a hollowness to his voice telling me there’s more story there, but I decide not to press. Not right now.
“It’s a beautiful room.”
He glances over at me with those green eyes. “You’re a beautiful woman.” He watches me for a moment, his gaze locked on my face as he asks, “Are you sure about this Kerry? We can hang out, watch TV, and order room service.” There’s more he wants to say, but he shuts his mouth and swallows hard, cutting it off.
I almost take him up on his offer, but I need to know who I’m becoming. I have to know if I’ve fallen for Nate or if I can be like that with anyone. There was a time when I knew myself inside out. Now I’m not even sure what I like anymore or who my real friends are—I suspect one of the best friends I have is standing in front of me.
I walk over to him and throw my arms around his neck. Looking into his eyes, I lean in and press my lips to his. That spark is there, the magnetic pull of physical attraction. It swirls in my belly and shoots into my limbs making me feel excited and light. His kiss is soft and careful, like he’s drained it of passion in his effort to maintain control. He doesn’t trust himself at all, not even with a kiss. My heart sinks when I think about how lonely he must feel. I hold him close, wrapping my arms around his neck, and playing with a spot on the back of his neck with my fingers as the kiss deepens.
The butterflies in my stomach fly away, and I take control of the kiss, pushing it toward passion and away from the slow, careful pace he set when his lips met mine. I sweep my tongue inside his mouth and then pull away, breathless, to nip his bottom lip, before crushing my mouth back to his. Josh’s body tenses against mine, and his spine goes straight as every muscle in his body cords up tight. His hands move lightly, cautiously down my sides and remain in friendly zones until I move them. I shove one hand down to my butt and place the other on my breast.
Josh breaks the kiss and pants hard, his hands barely touching me. “Kerry, I don’t think I can do this.”
I ask because I need to know, “When were you last with someone?” Something tells me it’s been a long time. I sense it in the way he’s conflicted, torn between losing himself in a kiss and trying to retain control.
“Kerry, I—”
I cut him off, softly. Carefully, I touch his face and trail my fingers along his jaw feeling his warm, smooth skin beneath my fingertips. “Josh, I know you’re more experienced than I am, but it feels like it’s been a while. Not because it’s bad, but because you’re hesitating. You have your hands pinned in place, and you're kissing me like I might break. I won’t. Trust yourself. I can make you stop if I have to.”
He’s watching me closely, assessing what I’m saying. Josh swallows hard, like his mouth is dry, and unlocks his rigid jaw. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was terrified right now. When he speaks, his voice is steady, even. “How? I can overpower you.”
“A throat punch, a kick to your groin, and pepper spray in your face. I grew up in a rough neighborhood, so you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle this.”
“Where’s the pepper spray?”
“In my purse.”
“Grab it. Put it where you can reach it and if I can’t stop, promise me you won’t hold back—you have to stop me.” Desperation fills his voice as a tremor works its way into his muscles.
I do as he asks, pulling the little bottle from my purse and setting it on a table by the couch. When I turn back to him, I bluntly ask, “Do you want to be with me?”
He nods and says nothing else.