Sean's Reckoning - By Sherryl Woods Page 0,72

were difficult babies, and they caused problems between your parents. It was natural for you to be afraid that your world was about to be disrupted. Just look at what happened—your family was torn apart. Maybe that was because of the twins or maybe it was something else, but the bottom line is, your fears had some basis in reality.”

“That’s no excuse,” he said, refusing to let himself off the hook. “They were babies. What kind of man blames a baby for anything?”

She laughed then and pressed a kiss against his lips. He was so surprised by the reaction, he didn’t move, didn’t even automatically deepen the kiss as he might have another time.

“Sean, you weren’t a man,” she reminded him. “You were a six-year-old boy, younger than that when they first came into your life. I’m sure there are plenty of other things you did at that age that you would never consider doing now.”

He started to argue, then slowly grasped the wisdom in her words. She was right. He was blaming himself for things that had been far beyond his control. Whatever had happened back then, it was because of decisions the adults had made, not anything he or Ryan or even Michael or the twins had done. The blame, if there was any, belonged with their parents. It had been up to them to cope with the disruptions, to reassure their sons, not to simply take off when things got to be too difficult.

He and Ryan had talked about that before, had agreed on it, but until now he hadn’t let himself believe it. Having Deanna, an objective third party, provide a fresh perspective helped more than he’d imagined possible. A sigh of relief shuddered through him as he finally let go of some of the guilt.

Deanna regarded him with surprise. “You really were blaming yourself, weren’t you? Have you been doing that all these years?”

“Not consciously,” he said. “But somewhere in the back of my mind, I suspect it was always there.”

“What made you think about it this morning?”

He started to keep the answer to himself, but she deserved to know where his head was. “I was thinking about babies. Yours and mine.”

The expression on her face was priceless—a mix of shock, wonder and something that looked a whole lot like panic. Sean could relate to that.

But he wasn’t scared anymore, because when he looked deep into Deanna’s eyes, anything seemed possible.

Deanna didn’t want Sean to see just how deeply she’d been affected by his off-the-cuff remark about the two of them having babies. They’d spent one night in each other’s arms and he was talking about a family. How could she even think about that? How could he? Wasn’t admitting that she loved him a huge enough leap for now?

Because she was so completely disconcerted, she scrambled from his embrace with the excuse that she was starving, that he must be, too. She was dressed in her robe and out the bedroom door before he could blink, much less reach out and haul her back into bed.

Her hands shook as she made the coffee. She had just grabbed the edge of the counter to steady herself when she felt Sean come up behind her, bracing his hands next to hers, trapping her in place.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Your turn. Why did you take off like that?”

“I’m hungry,” she insisted.

“Turn around, look me in the eye and tell me food is the only thing on your mind,” he said.

She swallowed hard and forced herself to turn around and level a look straight into his eyes. “I want pancakes,” she said, managing to keep her voice steady. She was impressed with her acting, if not the blatant lie.

Sean didn’t seem quite as taken with her proclamation. “Pancakes? You’d rather have pancakes than me?” he asked lightly.

She laughed despite her tension. “I didn’t know you were even on the menu.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said softly, his mouth covering hers. “Always.”

One hand cupped her breast, causing the nipple to bead beneath the soft fabric. Just like that, the panic fell away.

This was Sean. This was the solid, steady man who had befriended her son and protected her, even when she didn’t want his protection. Sean would never run out on her the way Frankie had, not after he’d committed to staying. Sean would never take such a commitment lightly. He’d lived through the pain of abandonment, just as she had. If he could take a giant leap of faith into