was going to ask me to dance at the Solstice. He wanted to know if I would have.”
I twitch, remembering Bear asking me the same thing. “What did you tell him?”
“That he’ll have to wait and see." Her voice takes on a mock mysterious tone.
I try to smile for her. “I thought he was too short for you.”
“Who knows . . . maybe he’ll grow some more before next year.”
“Not likely,” Bear whispers.
I grab his hand, but Calli pushes me aside, all business now. “How do you feel?”
“Like I was stabbed,” he rasps. “Oh wait, that is what happened.”
“Nice to see your sense of humor survived,” Calli says. “Do you need anything?”
“Water?”
“I’ll get it,” I say, jumping up.
“No, you stay. Maybe he can tell you where else it hurts and you can kiss it and make it better.” Calli laughs as she moves away to fetch the water.
I hold Bear’s hand in both of mine while she helps him take a few sips. His skin is like tree bark, rough and dry from dehydration, but his grip is strong and steady.
“How are you?” he asks.
I smile. “Better than you.”
“That’s not saying much. Why are we still in the caves? What happened with the Lofties?”
I fill him in on what he’s missed, smoothing his palm with my fingers as I speak. He’s quiet as I list the dead.
“I’m sorry about Aloe," he says.
"I’m sorry about a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“That she died. That you’re hurt. I feel responsible.” I wonder if I look as lifeless as my voice sounds.
“It’s not your fault. Aloe made the choices she had to make. And Moray and I had unfinished business. I guess we still do.” I can feel him studying my face. “Anyway, that’s not why you’re sorry.”
I swallow hard. “Why am I sorry, then?”
“You’re sorry because you’re going to hurt me.”
Unexpected tears leak out of the corners of my eyes. “What do you mean?” I know what he means, but I’m not ready to say it out loud.
“You’re going to tell me you don’t want to partner with me,” he says evenly.
I shake my head. I’m not sure what I’m denying.
“Fenn, when a boy wakes up after a life-threatening injury, and the girl he gave a bonding band to isn’t wearing it . . . it’s not that hard to figure out.”
I pull the band out of my pocket. “I have it here.”
“Great, maybe I’ll see how Marj feels about wearing it,” he jokes. “I’d ask Calli, but it sounds like Cricket might still have a chance.”
“I’m so sorry,” I repeat. I don’t know what else to say, so I kiss his knuckles instead.
He exhales. There’s suffering in the sound that belies his lighthearted words. “I guess I already knew.”
“How?”
“From your Lofty’s face when you stepped out of those trees. And from your face when you heard what that bird necklace meant.” He pauses. “Although, it doesn’t look like you’re wearing it either.”
I slide it out of my other pocket.
He snorts. “Keeping your options open?”
“I’m not sure where Peree and I stand now . . . I don’t even know if he survived the Reckoning . . .” My face crumbles.
“I’m kidding, Fenn.” He squeezes my hand.
“I told the truth when you asked if I’d have danced with you at the Solstice. I probably would have. But I didn’t know then that I’d feel this way now.” I hang my head. “I hate what you must think of me.”
“Fennel, I’ve known you all my life, you’re one of my best friends. I only think the best of you, period.”
“See, when you say that, that’s when I think I’m making a mistake,” I say.
“You are making a mistake,” he says seriously. “Then again, maybe it’s for the best. You really are a terrible cook, and you can’t sew worth a damn either. Our kids would be in rags.”
My smile wobbles. “You’re pretty wonderful, Bear.”
“That’s what they all tell me.”
“All right, Fenn,” Calli says as she walks up, “kiss him and be gone so I can check his wound.”
“Yes, Fennel,” Bear says, “lean way down here and kiss me. Show Calli what it’ll be like with Cricket.” I laugh my first real laugh since the Reckoning and kiss him on his stubbly cheek.
“Don’t stay away,” he warns me.
“Stay away? She’s been here practically every minute,” Calli says. “You two are intended—where else would she be?”
“You really need to try confiding in your friends,” Bear says to me.
“About what?” Calli asks.
I hug them each in turn.