okay. I won’t hold you back. I’ll miss you, but I would never begrudge you going after your dream.”
I hugged him, but he stayed stiff in my arms.
“Just promise me you won’t make a decision about your future while you’re in the midst of this grief. Let yourself mourn for Emily. Get on your feet before you take a step.”
For a second, he sagged in my grasp. Then he cleared his throat of tears.
“I’m going to clean out her bedroom,” he said. “Can you finish in here?”
I was torn between relief that he didn’t want me to accompany him into the room where she died and hurt that he didn’t need me by his side.
“Sure, Finn. You go ahead. I’ll be right here.”
As he walked away, I wondered if he’d come back. And I wondered how long I could wait.
chapter 24
Thanks to the condensed schedule of the May-term class, we had our final exam a mere three weeks after we started class, on the last day of May. I’d been trying to keep up with the work. Alice wouldn’t grade my test, of course, but she’d see my grades, and I didn’t want to look like an idgit.
Cal and I had all the plans for Bryan’s benefit sewn up, and after our strikeout in Emily’s office, Finn had left me alone about Bryan and Emily’s murders. But between class time and keeping the A-la-mode afloat, I was in the weeds. When Ashley asked me if I wanted to study with her, I jumped on the chance.
She stopped by the store at ten, as we were closing up. I sent Bree and Kyle on home, so we’d have quiet, and we settled into a booth in the dining room.
Ashley pulled a couple of cans out of her bag, tall beverage cans, black with orange flames licking up the sides and acid-green lettering. “For energy,” she said, pushing one toward me. “Can’t study without it.”
Curious, I read the label. The can promised me lasting energy with no crash, but caffeine and sugar were pretty high on the list of ingredients.
I cracked open the can and took a sip. It tasted like pure evil. I let the liquid dribble back into the can rather than swallow it. That sort of crap might be fine for young people, but my stomach couldn’t handle it. I’d stick to good ol’ diet soda.
I didn’t want to be rude, though, so for the first couple of hours of our study session, I’d occasionally lift the can to my lips and pretend to take a drink. Finally, though, I needed some caffeine for real, so I offered to get us sodas.
Ashley tipped her head back to drain the last dregs of her energy drink. “That would be great.”
While I got our drinks, I made small talk. “Your folks must be really proud of you, almost ready to graduate.”
“Hunh,” she grunted noncommittally. “They’d be a lot prouder if I’d graduated on time.”
I didn’t challenge her, but she went on as though I had. “I know I’m not the smartest person in the world,” Ashley said. “I didn’t even want to go to college. But you can’t get a good job without a degree anymore.”
I guessed that depended on your definition of a “good job.” My friend Angel didn’t have a college degree and she’d just started a new job at Erma’s Fry by Night Diner, but I imagined “short-order cook” would not make the cut in Ashley’s world.
“I had it all figured out,” she continued.
“Yeah? What are you planning to do when you graduate?” I handed a can of diet soda to Ashley and popped open my own.
“When we were freshmen, we had to take all these personality tests to find our strengths and figure out what we were passionate about.” Ashley took a sip of her drink. “I’m good at motivating other people and organization, and I really love health and fitness. So I decided I wanted to work in the fitness industry.”
“And that’s why you got that job at the Lady Shapers?”
“Right. I started off working at the desk and doing personal training, but I did an unpaid internship last summer in their corporate office. And I’m double-majoring in kinesiology and marketing.” She set down the can, picked up her pen, and started doodling on the open page of her notebook. “I’ve been working hard, trying to get good grades, and doing all the networking stuff we’re supposed to do so we know the right people.”
I had