ones because Morris said we were having barbecue and you don’t want some messy rib flopping on the floor. Now, where’s my baby?”
“See?” Addy laughs. “And this excitement has nothing to do with drive-by shootings, stalkers, or nasty mothers.”
I don’t hide my surprise but also don’t have a chance to ask what in the bloody hell that’s all about because an older woman appears at the threshold to the kitchen, weighed down with bags and dishes. “Welp, there she is. I’ve never had a British friend before!”
“Bella, this is Bev,” Addy says as she wrangles the baby out of her pouch. “She’s everyone’s grandma. Just go with it.”
Bev shoots me one of the most genuine smiles I’ve ever been awarded. “I can’t wait to listen to you talk, but first I need to put this stuff down and get my greedy hands on that baby.”
More voices echo through the old walls and my very first all-American barbecue dinner is off to a roaring start.
Cole and the rest of Crew’s men consumed their meals at the speed of light and returned to the compound. I tried to join them but Cole insisted I stay behind and relax.
Damn him.
The next time he demands I bloody relax, I will take him down. I don’t care who’s there to witness it.
Of course, I was going to ignore him but Maya filled my glass to the brim and sat down next to me since we haven’t had a chance to get to know each other yet. I happily guzzled the entire thing because girl talk pairs perfectly with a full-bodied, oaky Meritage.
The women who belong to Crew’s fucked-up family are lovely, kind, generous, open, and nosy as hell. I found it oddly easy to give them every bit of information they wanted. They’re just that nice and I’m just that tipsy.
Who knows, maybe I’m actually better at this female bonding thing than I thought. I’m sure it helps these particular women are lovely.
The sun has set and the woods have come to life with the constant song of the cicadas. It’s warm and humid but I’ve lived in the desert for so long, I love being hugged by the forest and its varying shades of green. The ladies have scattered to tend to their children and this is the first quiet moment I’ve had in days.
I lean my head back onto the lush patio chair and close my eyes.
“You’re back.”
I take a deep breath and pray for patience before I turn to him. Red has flopped into the chair next to me and I must have been too deep in my wine fog to hear him since Red is not stealth in anything he does. He’s a bull in a roomful of English teacups.
I don’t hesitate. “I’m sorry I took Cole away from you and Abbott. I know how you feel and tried to convince him I could go on my own. I don’t plan on it happening again.”
He puts his beer bottle to his lips for a pull before looking out to the rolling vines snaking over the land. “You stayin’ or goin’?”
“Pardon?”
His dark eyes are guarded but sharp. It takes me back to when Cole sought me out and begged me to come to the States with him, even if it meant hiding in plain sight. But I couldn’t give up working, wasn’t ready to hang up my dreams, or claim a new identity. He was hurt and I was still mourning the death of my career. Contracting with people like Crew privately was my only way of not giving up.
Cole wanted one thing—me. And as much as I wanted him, I held back.
I was selfish and stubborn and I knew it. I sent Cole away and started down the path of freeing myself. I knew I would never be able to give myself to him fully if I weren’t completely and totally free—mind, heart, soul, and in the eyes of the damned British government and western world.
It doesn’t surprise me when Red is impatient for an answer. “Well?”
“I want to stay.” I almost don’t recognize my own voice. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to believe it might be possible, let alone utter it aloud. “I love him.”
Red says nothing. He studies me like I’m a rusty piece of machinery he’s trying to decide to keep or throw out with the Tuesday trash.
“I’ve never loved anyone outside of my family,” I go on, laying my heart out for him even before