and her eyes lifeless. The sun set hours ago and I was about to pull my hair out from the silence. I set the devices to record and grabbed her hand.
The beaches are quiet now, only a few stragglers. If the tourists aren’t asleep, they’re at the bars tying one on. I tucked her under my arm, fisted our shoes in my other hand, and we walked. It’s been a long day and she’s got to be exhausted after last night.
We finally stop, she plants her ass in the sand, staring out at the waves that kiss her toes. It’s a new moon and cloudless sky—the stars light up the clear, black night.
“You know, you’re going to have to talk to me sooner or later.” Like I’ve done since the moment she woke in the hospital, I don’t allow her any personal space. I’m behind her, caging her in, with my feet in the sand and knees angled to the stars. It’s taken her a bit, but she’s finally relaxed into my chest.
Her English hits me flat and lifeless. I hate it. “I’m tired.”
“You’ve had a long day. You’re still getting your strength back after surgery—”
“No, Cole,” she bites. “I mean, I’m tired. I’ve been doing this … running, hiding…” She sighs. “I knew Randolph had something to do with it. I feel like I’m close, yet so far. And I’m tired of being tired.”
I wrap my arm around her chest. “I know. But we’re close, baby. I know it.”
“I shouldn’t complain. It hasn’t been that long but—”
“It’s been a long fucking time,” I interrupt. “Time you could’ve been progressing in your career. Time I lost with you. Time I wanted you in my life and time you could’ve had to get to know Abbott when she was younger. I know what you’ve said in the past but it doesn’t have to be either-or. You can have both. Hell, you can have it all.”
Her chest rises and falls under my hold as the waves pick up momentum. All of a sudden, our asses are wet. I don’t move and neither does she. I could sit here for hours.
“We’re going to make it out of this,” I go on. “There’s no other option. I won’t allow it.”
“The thought that anyone thinks I was behind the attack in Barcelona and did nothing to report it or stop it …” She shakes her head. “And everyone believes it, Cole. It makes me physically ill. All those innocent lives … I’d have laid down my own to save them had I known.”
“I know you would’ve and we’re going to prove to the world it wasn’t you. Someone made you their pawn. Someone set you up and when I find out who did it, I’ll fucking take them down myself before putting them in front of an international jury.”
“I’m sorry. Somedays it feels as if this will never end.”
I twist her in my arms and put my hand to her cheek. Her bright blue eyes are brimming which isn’t like her. I’ve only seen Bella cry once—when I went after her in Pakistan and she told me to leave. Didn’t think anything could gut me more, but seeing her now? My strong and beautiful Brit, broken and I can’t do a thing about it?
Yet.
“It’ll end,” I promise. “I swear.”
I’m about to break my word and take her mouth—there’s nothing I want more right now. Kissing her in this moment feels right. Hell, burying myself in her balls deep to make her forget about the rest of the world and all her troubles feels more than right. And I could.
But I know her. Even though I gave her an orgasm last night and have been sleeping next to her, I know she’s in her head. I also know no one can control her and I don’t want to. She needs me but not in that way.
She shakes her head out of my grip but leans the side of her face on my chest. I wrap my arms around her as the warm Caribbean swallows us up from the waist down. She burrows into me, proving she does need me.
The rest will come.
I’ll make sure of it.
Chapter 20
Plans
Bella
For the remainder of his stay, Randolph has proven to be more boring than watching paint dry. When he woke this morning after his utterly vomit-inducing romp, he ordered a meal for delivery. It seems his lonesome bender from the previous night kept him from building sand castles because he