Saving Grapes - Madeline Kirby Page 0,37
where. She just came home from work one evening and confronted me. Wanted to know if it was true that I had slept with men. I couldn’t deny it.”
“And she couldn’t accept it.”
“No. She couldn’t, or wouldn’t, believe that I hadn’t cheated on her, and had no intention of ever cheating on her. I don’t know if she and I would still be together today if that hadn’t come out, but I would never have married her if I hadn’t planned to be in it for the long haul.”
“And then what?”
“She kicked me out. Told me to get my things and leave and never come back. I packed a bag and checked into a motel. I argued, begged, tried to convince her to give me a chance to prove myself to her, but she was adamant. She served me with divorce papers. I went back to the house to get the rest of my things and found them boxed up and stacked on the porch. In hindsight I’m grateful she didn’t throw everything out on the lawn. She made it clear that she would fight for custody, and that I would never see you again, never ‘infect’ you. She said if I tried to contest the divorce or her custody that she would tell everyone I was a deviant and a pedophile. It was a small town. I knew she’d win, and that you’d grow up hearing the gossip, and I didn’t want you to have to go through that, or grow up thinking that you had come from that kind of background. So I left quietly. I thought that would be the best thing for you. Maybe I was wrong.”
Ben was silent, thinking about what his father had said. “I think you did the right thing,” he said after a couple of minutes.
“You do?”
“Yeah. You’re probably right about what would have happened. And I was so young that I never would have known that you fought for me. All I would have heard was that you were a pedophile, and maybe I’d wonder if you had, you know, hurt me when I was little. Mom let me think you were a deadbeat who had deserted us, but I guess that’s better than the alternative.”
Jon looked away, his eyes bright with moisture. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to be there for you, and that I never tried to contact you. I should have, when you were older, but my life was difficult at that point, and then it felt like I’d waited too long.”
“It’s… I don’t know if I can say it’s okay, but I think I understand.”
“Thank you,” Jon said, wiping his eyes.
“Did you ever remarry?” Ben asked. “Do I have any brothers or sisters?”
“No,” Jon shook his head. “No other kids. I had a partner. I met him a couple of years after the divorce. But he passed away about three years ago.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. Is that what you meant when you said your life was difficult?”
“Yes. He had cancer – lung cancer. Once he was diagnosed, everything was about keeping him healthy and keeping him alive. It was a long process.” Jon laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Crazy thing is, he never even smoked. But he grew up with two parents who did, and they’re both still alive as far as I know. Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump that on you.”
Ben moved to the sofa, sitting next to Jon and taking his hand. “It’s all right. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose someone like that.” They sat together like that for a few minutes, until Jon finally spoke.
“So, what about you and Thom? Are you and he…”
“Wow, that’s a very dad kind of question!” Ben laughed.
“Too personal? We did just meet, after all.”
“Not too personal, I guess. Thom and I are… complicated is as good a word as any I suppose. It’s his favorite word, anyway. We’re at different places in what we want.”
“He cares about you, though. He was very protective earlier. But you’re still young, maybe you’re not ready to settle down?”
“More the opposite, actually. I want to stay here with him as long as I can. As long as he’ll let me. The rest of our lives if possible. But he thinks I’m too young to know for sure and keeps waiting for me to leave.”
Jon gave Ben’s hand a squeeze. “You’re a lot like me. Even if we didn’t look alike, I’d still see