God.”
Ten
2004
A bead of sweat rolled down Josie’s face. She shifted uncomfortably in her desk chair, not hearing a word her teacher was saying about chemistry. The air around her smelled of body odor, and the haze of perfume some of the other girls had used to mask said body odor. The air conditioning in Denton East High had broken on the hottest day of the year so far. Even the open windows offered no breeze. Glancing at the clock, Josie was relieved to see there were only five minutes until the final bell of the day. She needed a shower. Something hit her shoulder from behind. A square of paper landed beside her desk. Giggles erupted from behind her.
“Is there a problem?” asked Mr. Rand.
Behind her, Josie thought she heard a girl hiss, “You guys, stop!” It sounded like Lana.
One of the other girls said, “No, no problem. Josie dropped something.”
He stared at her until she reached down and picked up the folded piece of loose-leaf paper. Squeezing it in her palm, she smiled stiffly at Mr. Rand.
“Ms. Matson,” he said. “Is that something I should be concerned about?”
The other students in her grade had been taunting her all day, but she would be damned if she ratted them out. Attention was what they wanted, her grandmother always said, so don’t dare give it to them. Besides, she’d look like a wuss and a tattle if she dimed them out. No one did that. Josie liked to handle things on her own. “No,” she told him as she tucked the paper into the back of her chemistry textbook.
He took a step toward her, his eyes lingering on her chest. Josie suddenly wished she hadn’t stripped down to her tank top. Before he could speak again, the bell rang. Bodies sprang from their seats and rushed toward the door. Ignoring the ongoing commentary behind her, Josie let herself get caught in the surge of students trying to get out of the door and into the hallway where it was only marginally cooler. The crowd carried her down the hall to her locker.
“Better start looking for a new prom date,” a voice said behind her back. Josie didn’t turn around. She focused on making her fingers open her locker.
Another voice answered the last, “Yeah right. Good luck with that. No one is gonna want to date that.”
Rage bubbled in her stomach as she flung open her locker door. It clanged against the locker beside it. Taking a deep breath, Josie started methodically switching out her textbooks, trying to keep her mind on which ones she would need to take home with her that night. Placing her chemistry book into the locker, her hand froze.
Don’t look at it, said a voice in her head. It’s all lies anyway. Rumors.
“None of it is true,” she muttered to herself. But it was the third time this year that this particular rumor had circulated through Denton East.
Her fingers extricated the square of paper. As she unfolded it, a hand-drawn heart came into view. Black ink. An arrow punched through it. Inside were the names Ray and Beverly. The page made a crinkling sound as she squeezed it in her hand. She slammed her locker closed, hoisted her bookbag onto her back and found the nearest trash can, happy that most of the students were gone for the day.
Bracing herself for the sweltering stairwell, Josie pushed through the door only to run directly into Beverly Urban.
“Watch it,” Beverly said, her voice high-pitched.
Josie felt a flutter in her chest. “You watch it,” she snapped back.
“Don’t tell me what to do, you loser,” Beverly responded.
Josie pushed past her, toward the steps. Over her shoulder she said, “Oh, I’m the loser? I’m not the one who has to make up rumors about other people’s boyfriends just so it looks like someone wants to be with me. Get your own damn boyfriend.”
Beverly let out a loud breath and then Josie felt something push hard against the bookbag on her back. The steps rushed at her. She threw her hands up, searching for something to grab onto, but it was too late. She toppled down the steps, only her packed bag slowing the fall, coming to rest face-down on the landing. Pushing herself to standing, she glared up the steps toward Beverly even as her mind did a mental inventory of her body. Her left knee hurt, and so did both her hands and wrists. Her right shoulder also felt funny. But