understand you to your core – taking race and gender out of it. All I care about is the depth of your soul!”
He tapped on her chest. She must know he was laying it all bare, putting his heart on the line. “That’s what I understand. That’s what I talk to. This skin means nothing!” He pinched his arm. “Take this off, this flesh, and we’re all the same underneath. This is a uniform. Just like the shit in my closet!
“The knight outfit, the wolf, the latex, leather, it’s just a damn costume! It makes us unique. We can decorate it with tattoos and piercings, we can apply special lotions to make it softer and look younger, dye our hair all kinds of crazy colors and paint nails in all shades. We can do all kinds of body modifications, but at the end of the day, none of that shit means a damn thing. In fact, I have done the opposite of what you’ve implied. Who sent you those emails to use for your meeting today? I used my ‘White privilege’, which I acknowledged I have, and gave them to you. That was ME! Your White boyfriend! Not every White person wants to destroy you. You can’t do this, Yasmine. I know this is coming from a place of hurt. But I’m not ashamed to be White and I’m not apologizing for it, either. I have never used my Whiteness against you; I’ve used it for you!”
She rested her forehead on her knees and rocked her body as she sobbed her pain away, finally releasing it. He kept smoking his cigar and gave her some time.
“Yasmine…” He lay back against the headboard and slipped a hand behind his head. “Baby… you did everything you were supposed to do. You were told to share your notes with Camden, with the understanding that you two would work on the case together. Come to find out, that was a lie. Instead of blowing up at your boss like many would have, you approached him calmly to talk about what happened. He basically ignored you. You attempted to do it again. No luck.
“You spoke with Camden directly. That was a disaster. You then went back to Terrell with evidence to back up your concerns and realized that you were fighting an uphill battle and there were no plans to make this right. Your colleagues did nothing, though they seemed to support you at first. Then you told me on the phone that an email went out, with Camden cc’d, that there would be no disciplinary action or any further internal investigation related to the complaint. Now, you are planning to escalate. They’ve left you no choice. You have my full support. Never second guess that.” She nodded and laid her head against his chest, curling her legs up. “When are you planning to contact the State Bar?”
“I made some calls regarding an appointment. Looks like the following week on Tuesday. I am going in person to file the complaint.”
He nodded in understanding, then leaned down and kissed her forehead.
“I’ll be there with you.”
They intertwined fingers and the silence stretched between them for a long time.
“I’m sorry for making you feel like you’re the enemy.” She sniffed. “It felt that way for a split second, but you’re right, you know. What you said was right. You’re not like them, and that wasn’t fair of me. I was just… expressing myself. I know deep down that you’re not against me, Nix. I’ve just been waking up over and over, trapped in a nightmare.” She shrugged. “One minute, I know what to do; the next, I am struggling with my anger – trying to not be that ‘angry Black woman.’ But I have a right to be pissed. I’m just tired. And tired of being tired. Tired of going through shit like this…”
He took a drag of his cigar and set it down. After a few moments, he got up from the bed and retrieved the whipped cream and chocolate syrup he’d left on the dresser earlier in the night. She giggled at the sight.
“What are you about to do?”
He drew closer, a big smile on his face.
“Lay down.”
She did that, and he crept on the bed, between her supple thighs, then slipped to her side. Lifting up her shirt to her breasts, he squeezed a generous dollop of the whipped cream over her pelvic bone. She burst out laughing, twisting and turning, going crazy.