island. I could just let you starve.”
“You really do have that broody, jaded bad guy look down to a tee.” She tells me with a pout.
Pushing off the side, I snatch up the packet of cookies as I pass. “Once upon a time, there was a king who went mad. In his insanity, he murdered as many of his family he could find. Those who were left had to pick up the pieces.”
“Is that some kind of tragic metaphor for your life?”
“I’m going to go rub one out watching some porn on my laptop unless you want to come do it for me?” I call over my shoulder ignoring her question. “Maybe give me that blowjob you owe me for existing.”
Robin makes a cute outraged little gasp. “You’re such a dick.”
Turning, the reply on my lips dies swiftly. Clutched between her delicate fingers, one of the small glass vials of liquid shimmers and glistens as she holds it with curiosity up to her face. My skin crawls with the need to have it. The feeling of warmth and contentment every time it fills up my veins.
“What are you doing?” My voice is a growl. It’s not hers. It’s mine. She can’t have it.
Robin jumps, her fingers closing guilty around the bottle. “I…I just wanted to see what it is.”
“It’s medicine.”
“For what?”
Tossing the unopened packet of cookies, it lands with a thud on a counter forgotten. “You’re full of fucking questions, aren’t you?”
“You don’t look sick.”
“Stop poking your nose in where it doesn’t belong. I have insomnia.” My tone is defensive.
I don’t need to justify anything to her. Can stop at any time if I chose to. I’m aware of my addictive nature, but that doesn’t stop me. Not yet, my brain whispers already making a million excuses why I don’t have to. Mushrooms, opium, laudanum, morphine, meth, coke, I’ve tried them all through the centuries. A love affair of dependency but only this one has me craving it with an avid sickness.
“These stop you from sleeping. See the label?” Robin’s eyebrows dipping in the middle with what looks like concern. “They aren’t going to help you sleep, and they shouldn’t be getting you high…”
In two strides, I’m before her snatching it greedily from her hand. “I need this.”
Wariness washes over her youthful face. “But they’re having the opposite effect of what you need. They won’t cure insomnia. It will just make it worse.””
“You don’t know anything,” I argue.
A crushing pain beats through my head. It’s makes me want to pace. To run. Find my whisky and lose myself to its numbing affects. Shades and monsters. I’m trying to hold all these secrets inside me. It’s as if the walls are caving in. I move before I even realize claiming the bag of vials and hiding them protectively behind me.
Blue eyes meet mine. “Please…these aren’t helping you.”
“Shut up,” I roar, my bellow making the walls around us shake. “Shut the fuck up.”
5
Robin
Morpheus’s eyes are so dilated the pupils have swallowed up the restless brown that’s forever changing. The pulsing veins on his neck are visible, his breathing harsh and uneven.
It’s painful to watch. This stranger, who had kissed me not long ago, change into someone I don’t think he even knows. How long has he been alone like this? Angry, disconnected, reliant on drugs to get him through the days.
I advance toward him slowly. Flattening my palms on his chest, I feel his heart pounding. It shouldn’t be going that fast. Nothing about its rapid rhythm is safe. A battering ram pushing through his rib cage. As the light fades, I’m only half aware of the skies outside the window darkening ominously.
“Morpheus, this is going to kill you.” I’m not sure why I should care. Something about the fleeting look of vulnerability I see. It catches hold of something inside me. Compassion. A need to help someone in pain.
His lips curl up in a sneer. “What the fuck do you know, lost girl?”
“You’ve lost your willpower,” I point out gently. “From what I can see, your life revolves around your next hit. That isn’t healthy. You have a problem.”
“It stops me from hurting. How can that be bad?”
“Is that the lie you’ve convinced yourself of, that they’re going to make you feel better instead of facing whatever you’re trying to bury and forget? What can be so terrible?”
“I don’t need a fucking lecture from someone I don’t know,” Morpheus spits, expression twisting unpleasantly.
“Maybe that is exactly what you need.” I feel