Ryan's Place - By Sherryl Woods Page 0,65
not, but I don’t know the first thing about smoothing this over. I have no idea what Maggie expects. She’s the one who walked out.” It was a disingenuous statement, and Ryan knew it. He knew precisely why Maggie was so furious. She was outraged because he cared more about making sure his family health history was problem free than he did about some phony family reunion.
Father Francis studied him intently. “She left without giving you any clue at all about why she was upset?” the priest asked doubtfully. “That doesn’t sound like Maggie.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” Ryan asked edgily.
“No, of course not. Have you thought of asking her to explain, then?”
“It’s not that simple.”
Father Francis clearly wasn’t convinced. “Why, because Maggie won’t be honest?”
“Of course not,” Ryan said at once. “Maggie’s the most honest person I know.”
“Is it because she won’t be able to tell you what’s in her heart?”
Ryan sighed. “No.”
“What then?”
“It’s because I still won’t be able to give her the answers she wants.”
“About?”
“My family.” Ryan regarded the priest helplessly. “How can I tell her I care about seeing them again, when the truth is that I don’t?”
“Ah, so that’s it,” Father Francis said. “Have you finally decided to search for them, then? I imagine Maggie’s had a hand in helping you reach that decision. Are you not comfortable with it now that you’ve made it? Are you considering backing down?”
“Too late for that,” Ryan said wryly. “Actually, Jack Reilly’s been looking for a while now. He’s found one of my brothers—Sean, the one two years younger than me, which would make him about thirty now.”
The old man’s face lit up. “That’s brilliant news. Have you seen him?”
“I can see that your expectations are the same as Maggie’s,” Ryan said. “You’re expecting me to be overjoyed.”
“And you’re not?”
“I’m just looking for answers.”
“What sort of answers? You do realize that if he was younger than you, Sean may not have the answers you need. Unless he’s found your parents, it’s unlikely he knows what went wrong.”
Ryan shook his head. “That’s not it at all. I want to be sure everyone’s in good health, so if Maggie and I ever decide to marry and have a family, I won’t be unwittingly passing any hereditary conditions along to our children.”
Father Francis sighed heavily. “I imagine this is because of Lamar,” he said. “And you told this to Maggie, that your search is all about genetics?”
“Yes,” Ryan admitted.
The priest gave him a pitying look. “It’s a wonder she didn’t take a skillet to your head. I’m thinking of it myself,” he said with disgust. “You clearly know how to rob a moment of its meaning.”
“If you’re trying to accuse me of not being a sentimental jerk, then you’re right. I’m not. This is a practical search for answers I need to have before I decide whether it’s right to take the next step with Maggie.”
“No,” the priest said flatly. “It’s a way of protecting yourself from being hurt again. You’re taking no chances that your brother—or the others when you find them—might not want to be a part of your life even now.”
Ryan felt the undeniable sting of truth in his words. “What if I am? Can you blame me?”
“Of course not, but life is about risks, about being open to possibilities. Have you not been happier these last weeks with Maggie than you ever have been before?”
There seemed to be little to gain by lying when the answer was obvious. “Yes. What’s your point?”
“If you’d continued to keep the door to your heart tightly shut, you’d have had none of that,” Father Francis reminded him. “Life would have gone along on its nice, even keel with no ups and downs. It would have been safe. But you’d have missed all the joy Maggie has brought into your life. Wasn’t that worth the risk of letting down your defenses?”
Much as Ryan wanted to protest that he’d been better off before, he knew it wasn’t true. Maggie had opened up his heart, and there was no turning back.
“And you think that seeing my brothers and even my parents again could turn out as well?” he asked skeptically. “Despite the fact that I’ve spent all these years with bitterness and resentment churning around inside me?”
“You’ll never know unless you try…and for the right reasons. And you’ll need to be willing to let go of the bitterness and resentment and be ready move on. Surely your brother’s not the one you’ve been