Ryan's Place - By Sherryl Woods Page 0,64

a little bit like reliving what he went through after your parents took off. I’m sure all of you kept expecting to get a phone call any day.”

“Oh, God,” Ryan whispered, struck by her words. “I never looked at it that way. You’re right, Maggie. It was months before I finally accepted the fact that they weren’t calling and weren’t coming back.” The memory still haunted him. How many hours had he stayed near the phone wherever he was, waiting, trying desperately not to hope when it rang, fighting tears when it wasn’t for him.

“That’s when I started getting in trouble,” he told Maggie. “Once I knew that it didn’t matter where I was, because they were never going to look for me, I didn’t care if I was moved from foster home to foster home. I didn’t want to get attached to any of those families, so whenever I felt myself letting down my guard, I’d do something to get sent away.”

He felt Maggie’s hand on his cheek.

“It must have been so awful for you,” she said sympathetically. “And now you have a chance to get back something you lost. Don’t wait another day. Call Sean. Go to see him.”

Ryan wasn’t sure he could do it alone. “Would you…?” He looked into Maggie’s eyes. “I want you to come with me.”

To his dismay she shook her head. “Ryan, after all these years this should be private, just the two of you.”

He searched his heart for the strength, but it wasn’t there. Besides, having Maggie with him, since she’d been the one to encourage the search, felt right. “No, I need you to be there. If we’re going to be family, that’s how it should be.”

She stared at him, clearly stunned by the casual mention of a future for the two of them. “Are we? Are we going to be family?”

He was just as shocked that she hadn’t known that that was what they were leading up to, that it was the reason for everything he’d done lately to deal with the past. He was desperately trying to tie up all the loose ends so he could move forward with a clear conscience.

“That’s why I’m doing this,” he explained. “I want to find them all, to make sure that, you know, there are no problems you ought to know about before you marry me.”

“Problems?” she asked, clearly bewildered.

“Illnesses, that kind of thing,” he said, avoiding her gaze.

Maggie sat straight up in bed and regarded him with unmistakable dismay. “You’re looking for them to see if everyone’s healthy?”

“Of course,” he said defensively. “That’s the responsible thing to do.”

“And that’s the only reason?” she asked, disbelief still written all over her face.

“It’s important, dammit!”

“Oh, Ryan,” she whispered, fresh tears tracking down her cheeks. “It shouldn’t be about that.”

And then, to his shock, she climbed out of bed, dragged on her clothes and left the room without so much as a glance in his direction. And somehow, despite the terrible, aching emptiness inside him, he couldn’t find a single word to call her back.

Chapter Fourteen

Ryan didn’t get it. He’d done what Maggie wanted. Maybe he hadn’t found his whole family, but he’d found one of his brothers. That was a start, dammit! What did she want from him? If she was expecting the Devaneys to suddenly turn all warm and fuzzy like the O’Briens—well, it wasn’t going to happen. There was too blasted much water under the bridge for that.

“Ryan, you’ve the look of a man with a lot on his mind,” Father Francis said, sliding onto a stool at the bar. “Anything I can help with?”

“Not unless you can explain the way a woman’s mind works,” Ryan retorted.

Father Francis grinned. “Now that is a mysterious thing,” he agreed. “Are we talking about any woman’s mind, or is it Maggie’s that has you looking as if there’s a dark cloud hanging over your head?”

“Maggie’s, of course.”

“I notice she hasn’t been coming in as regularly as she was,” Father Francis said. “It’s been a few days since her last visit, hasn’t it?”

“Close to a week,” Ryan admitted despondently.

“Have you spoken to her?”

He shook his head. What was the point of calling, when he didn’t know what to say?

Father Francis looked dismayed. “Now there’s your first mistake, it seems to me. Whether he’s right or wrong, a man should take the first step toward making things right.” He gave Ryan a canny look. “Unless, of course, you’re happy with the way things are.”

“No, of course