Ruthless Kings - Laura Lee Page 0,77
I can’t help it; I think about the pictures on Insta and frown. “He’s seriously the only dude you’ve fucked?”
“First of all, it’s just Shawn, no taco trucks involved. And yes, he’s the only other person I’ve had sex with, or even fooled around with, for that matter.” Jazz bites her lip. “Well, I guess after last night, there’s two if Bentley counts.”
I groan. “I think we need to set a rule that Bentley does not count. In fact, let’s forget Bentley ever happened.”
Jazz’s eyes are filled with unease. “Kingston, why did—”
I lightly pinch her lips together. “I don’t regret it, Jazz. It needed to happen for multiple reasons, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hot. But you have to know it was a one-time thing. It took a shit ton of self-control to prevent myself from knocking Bentley's teeth out while he was touching you. Every instinct inside of me was screaming to make it stop. I don't think I could control myself if it happened again."
“I don’t want it to happen again,” she assures me.
“No?”
“No. But I’m glad it did happen. What you did for me last night, what you both did for me, I could never forget. You saved me. I've had a few moments of heightened anxiety since the attack, but nothing close to what happened last night. Losing control of my own body, being consumed by panic like that, was terrifying. I was trapped in this really dark place, and I had no idea how to make it stop, which only exacerbated the situation."
“You don’t have to be strong twenty-four-seven, Jazz.”
She shakes her head. “That’s just it. I do. Or I thought so, anyway. The way I grew up, you had to be vigilant at all times. If you lacked awareness or showed any weakness, you were painting a target on your back. For the most part, I kept to myself, but if it ever came down to fight or flight, I'd almost always choose fight because there was always someone looking to prey on the vulnerable. That's why jumping into a gang is so alluring for some people. You have instant protection. Instant family. They're not always just a bunch of criminals. Sometimes, it's good people trying to make the best out of shitty circumstances.
“But last night taught me that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. That I don’t have to shoulder everything by myself. That I can fully trust someone else to take control of a situation. And it also taught me that it's okay to be self-indulgent every once in a while. I can't remember the last time I did something for myself for the pure joy of it, Kingston. I loved every moment of what happened between the three of us, but I'll never want to do that again." Jazz scoots a little closer and traces my eyebrow with her finger. "I know how hard that was for you, and I am so grateful for it. The fact that you could be so selfless only reaffirms my decision."
I run my fingers down Jazz’s spine. “What decision is that?”
“I want a relationship with you and only you. I don't want to fight it anymore, either."
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Jazz reaches out and fists my dick, forcing a groan past my lips as her thumb brushes the ridge right beneath the head. “And I think we should celebrate.”
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. “Again?”
She nods. “Again.”
“But we have to hit the road soon to pick up your sister.”
Jazz climbs back on top of me. “We’ll make it fast. We can do slow later.”
“Well, in that case, get up here and sit on my face.” I tap my lips.
She laughs and gives me a cheeky wink. “Well, if you insist.”
I’m smiling so hard, my cheeks hurt. “Oh, baby, I abso-fucking-lutely insist.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
JAZZ
“Is this going to be weird? Did he ever reply to your text?”
Kingston takes my bag for me as we walk to my locker. “Yeah. He said he smoked a little too much last night and slept through his alarm. Didn’t get here until right before third period. He seemed okay. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
Kingston and I haven't seen Bentley since our little party of three the other night. He must've been sleeping when we left yesterday morning, and we spent most of the day at the zoo with my sister and Ainsley. I expected to run into Bent in the parking lot this morning before school like we