“I’m going to recommend somewhere in the United States, possibly here. It’s neutral ground.”
“You didn’t even see the reception, Rick. You have no idea if that was a train wreck or not. It was probably a train wreck.”
“I saw pictures.”
Rick gave me a headache. Technically, he worsened my headache. “I’ll give you my number, and I’ll think about it. But, if I do this, it will be because you’re my brother’s friend. I don’t need to be part of the wedding party, right?”
“The wedding party will be large. Even if you somehow landed in it, no one would notice you.”
I frowned. “Just how large would the wedding party be?”
“My mother’s wedding party had fifty-two maids.”
Now I’d heard of everything. “But why? Why so many maids? That’s insane, Rick.”
The thought of arranging for fifty-two bridesmaid dresses almost made me throw up.
“One woman for each family close to ours is how it typically goes. You’d be put into the party because your brother is a close friend of mine, which gives you the familial tie.”
“Your family has a lot of friends. I’m both impressed and horrified.”
“That we do. We’re used to it, though. It’s not that bad. Well, it’s that bad, but we’re taught from birth to pretend it’s not that bad. Most of them are barely acquaintances, but it’s been a family tradition for as long as anyone can remember, so we stick with it. You game?”
“A professional would be wiser, I just feel I need to warn you of this.”
“But a professional wouldn’t be as good for my family as you. Mat’s wedding was perfect. That’s what I want for my family: that sort of perfect.”
“Do I want to know what sort of surprises will be in store for me should I tentatively accept?”
Rick chuckled. “Why do you think there’ll be surprises?”
“I’m breathing.”
“That you are. All right. My family is a little crazy, a lot egotistical, and we have a history of surprise double or triple weddings happening on the fly and attached to the original ceremony. When so many young, single people with more money than sense get together to plan a wedding, stuff happens.”
“When most people say stuff happens, they mean people sleep together and an unexpected baby comes into the picture. Unexpected marriages aren’t the first thing people think about.”
“Well, my family is traditional by nature, and they prefer when the marriage happens before the babies. Newly conceived babies are the reason for approximately half of our unexpected marriages, while the rest of the unexpected marriages happen because people meet, fall in love, and lose all common sense. I plan on being a little more meticulous than that when I marry.”
“How is one ‘a little more meticulous than that’ when discussing marriage?”
“I will have dedicated at least six months to the pros and cons of offering a proposal, I will enter the relationship fully committed, and I will come to the table armed with condoms, promises of any testing she desires, and I’ll even get snipped should she not want children. My mother might die of a heart attack when she finds that out, so please don’t tell my mother. I love her dearly and don’t want her to die.”
“Traditionally, we call that an overshare.”
“It’s relevant information for the wedding planner. You’ll find a lot of men in my family have similar thoughts, so you may have to address condom provisions, medical testing, and so on as part of your work.”
“Okay. That’s fair. That’s also insane. I should have demanded Mat have Amy tested before agreeing to marry or sleep with her. That would’ve been smart.”
“Traditional doesn’t mean sane. I’m going to have to pay you bonuses to deal with the insanity, honestly. You’ll be grateful we do unexpected marriages. It saves us from having to plan that many extra ceremonies.”
I blinked, spent a minute thinking that through, and nodded at the wisdom of merging weddings. “That’s actually pretty brilliant. The odds of this happening?”
“I’m hoping high.”
Ah. It clicked. Rick wanted his marriage to be the unexpected marriage added to the list, and he wanted me to plan the perfect wedding for him, one which involved his mystery lady, who had no idea he was after forever.
It was crazy, it was oddly romantic, and any woman with half a grain of sense in her head wanted to be her—or at least loved by someone willing to take a crazy gamble on forever.