seemed so on paper.
Absolutely no lip-to-lip contact.
Yep, that was my rule. I gave Beck a copy and keep the original in my glovebox. Having that boundary written down seems to be working for us.
Sort of …
“You sound stressed. What’s going on?” Beck’s troubled voice lures me out of the memory.
Fear scorches through me as a car zooms by, and I sink even lower in the seat.
“I’m always stressed. It comes with the territory of being a worrier,” I tell him. “But the place I’m broke down isn’t helping my anxiety, either.”
“Where are you exactly?”
“On the highway between Ridgefield and Fairs Hollow.”
“Fuck, that’s in the middle of nowhere.”
“Yeah, I know. I was …” I was what? Coming home from work? Because he thinks you work at a library, which is far, far away from here. “I had to run a few errands for my mom, and my stupid car decided it was going to overheat again.” God, I hate lying to him. It makes my heart ache.
“You really need to get your car looked at,” he says over the chatter and piano music rising in the background.
“I will,” I lie. Like I pointed out earlier, trying to explain not having money to Beck doesn’t work. “Where are you? I hear a lot of noise.”
“I’m at my sister’s. She’s throwing a week before Thanksgiving party.”
“Is that a thing?”
“Apparently. At least to her. But you know how Emmaline is. She throws parties for every holiday and the week before. Remember she did that for Easter a couple of years back?”
I smile. “Yeah, I remember. You made me go to it with you and told all the kids at the kid table that we were eating rabbit. They freaked out and started to cry, and your dad got so pissed.”
“My dad is always pissed,” he reminds me with slight bitterness. The only time Beck ever sounds bitter is when he’s talking about his dad, a cold, unemotional man who loves to work more than be a father or husband. “But that time, it was kind of worth it just to see the look on those kids’ faces.”
“You can be so evil sometimes.”
“So can you. That’s why we’re so great together. In fact, I think we might create the epitome of perfection.”
Deep down, I know he doesn’t mean we’d be a great couple, but my lips tug downward, anyway. Not because Beck would be a horrible boyfriend; I just prefer not to think about boyfriends: of having one, of ruining my life to have one, of getting consumed by one, of ending up like my mom because I get so consumed by one. And Beck, he could definitely consume me. I can feel the magnetic attraction, the overwhelming sense of drowning every time I’m near him.
I glance at the glovebox, thinking about the rule. Knowing it exists makes me breathe easier.
“Maybe I should try texting Ari again,” I change the subject. “I don’t want to make you leave your sister’s party.”
“Too late for that. I’m already in the car.”
If I had a penny for every time he said that to me, I wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.
“Besides,” he continues. “I’m not about to pass up my chance to be your knight in shining armor just so I can stick around and listen to my sister’s friends babble about the stock market.”
“Is that what you rich folks are talking about these days?” I tease, hunkering down in my seat as headlights shine through the rear window of my car.
“Oh, my God, you have no idea,” he gripes. “I swear if I heard any more about exchanges and volumes and yields, I was going to start singing Linkin Park’s ‘One Step Closer’ at the top of my lungs.”
I giggle. “Man, I’d love to see that go down.”
“One day, I’ll make that happen for you.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” I tease then suck in a sharp breath as the headlights move closer.
I turn around to glance out the window, but I can’t tell if the car is driving absurdly slow or has stopped. I double-check to make sure the doors are locked then sink lower into the seat.
“It’ll have to be at one of your parties, though. That kind of stuff would fit right in with the stupid parties my mom throws all the time. Someone is always screaming about something.” I bite my tongue as soon as I say it. While Beck knows how my mom is, he doesn’t need me whining