Royal Wedding - Meg Cabot Page 0,55
although they didn’t get to rough Brian up as much as we all would have liked, since Brian is exactly the type to file a multimillion lawsuit, like the pap that Grandmère hit with her Birkin).
Afterward Perin told me Brian wasn’t even the first to have pulled such a stunt today. Apparently since I’ve been at my desk, several paps who look young enough to pass as teens have managed to sneak in—mainly by wearing hoodies, high-tops, and cross-body messenger bags—only to get caught when they specifically asked for help with their algebra homework from “Princess Mia” (our regulars know I’m incompetent when it comes to algebra. I can only help with French, English, and papers on European citrus production).
“It might be better,” Perin said, “if you worked from home again for the next few days . . . just until the excitement over your engagement to Michael dies down.”
I didn’t want to make her feel bad by telling her that I have no home and that this is the excitement dying down, thanks to the Crown Prince of Qalif outlawing swimming for women and of course the E. coli outbreak.
Instead I said, “Thank you, Perin. That’s a good idea,” and gathered my bodyguard and left.
I was feeling a bit depressed, but rallied after Lars and I grabbed sandwiches at Murray’s Shop (also Fritos, Butterfingers, and sodas from a bodega, where I saw that on the cover of the Post it says: “Michael Makes His Move!” and there was a photo of Michael kissing me in the backseat of the HELV. The accompanying article explained the tax breaks to which both Michael and his corporation, Pavlov Surgical, Inc., will be entitled once we’ve been married five years, since Genovian citizens—and companies—pay no taxes, and a “close friend” of Michael’s is speculating that Pavlov Surgical will soon be reincorporating on Genovian soil to avoid paying American taxes).
(Yes, I bought the paper and read the article.)
It must be a slow news day if this is the most scandalous reason they could come up with for why Michael’s finally proposed. The tax break? I like Inside Edition’s theory—that I’m carrying his twins—better.
CHAPTER 37
2:45 p.m., Tuesday, May 5
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
Rate the Royals Rating: 1
Got a message that the crowd outside the consulate had dissipated enough for me to be smuggled in through the back service entrance, so I’m home (well, my temporary home). So happy to see Fat Louie.
He did not even appear to notice I’d been gone, having apparently slept the entire time, judging by the fur matted on the left-hand corner of my bedspread.
But he purred quite happily when I petted him, and even let me pick him up and carry him around like a big fat baby (for about one minute. Then he got cranky and growled and I had to put him down and give him a chunk of ham from my sandwich. But it was a lovely minute, until he bit me).
Weirdly, Madame Alain greeted me even more warmly than Fat Louie. At first I didn’t understand why, since I’ve never been her favorite person, or even seen her smile.
Then I saw that she was packing all the things in her office into boxes. She’s being transferred back to Genovia.
I completely forgot that I suggested she might be happier elsewhere. Apparently someone agreed with me.
Fortunately she couldn’t be more pleased. She’s always hated her job here (and me) and now she’ll never have to see the consulate (or me) again.
I wonder where she’ll be working. But actually I don’t care so long as it’s well away from me.
CHAPTER 38
2:55 p.m., Tuesday, May 5
Third-Floor Apartment
Consulate General of Genovia
Rate the Royals Rating: 1
Since we didn’t bring our laptops to the Exumas, I haven’t checked my e-mail in ages.
Well, I just did, and guess what?
J.P. sent me his dystopian YA novel, Love in the Time of Shadows.
I have sent it straight to Tina.
I read the synopsis, and I’ve decided I’m not in a place right now where I want to know more about J.P.’s vision of the future, especially since in it:
1. One percent of the population owns all the wealth and property while being catered to by the impoverished 99 percent who have no chance of attaining any of that wealth and property (except through armed rebellion or a randomized lottery system).
2. The police are militarized.
3. Everyone has skin cancer/radiation poisoning because the ozone layer is being destroyed by humankind’s disrespect of the environment.
4. The media is highly biased