you keep going? What motivates that kind of thinking?"
I shrug a shoulder. "It's a chance to go to space, man. If I did that… If I actually made it to space, I would be…" I trail after second and then shake my head. "I don't want to go down in history as the second in line to the throne. I want my name to mean something to somebody. I want to be remembered."
His brows shoot up in surprise. "Really?"
I nod, feeling a bit sheepish. But he purses his lips again, seeming pensive.
"That's a hell of a way to start a legacy. Most people just get married and have kids."
I chuckled dryly, shaking my head. "Not me, man. I can't even meet a girl that I like, much less that I want to marry."
Erik huffs out a laugh. "I think that Pippa would disagree about that."
I rock back in my chair. "Besides Pippa, I mean. She doesn't count, obviously."
"No? What's wrong with Pippa?"
I fixed him with a stare. "We've already been over this 100 times. She's my best friend, not a potential mate. Girls are so flighty. They’re really only after my title. Pippa isn't like that. But that's just because we been friends for well over ten years. I don't want to rock the boat and risk losing my oldest, closest friend.” I set my beer down with a smirk. “Besides, Pippa is so busy with her life that I don't even know where I would fit in."
I say the last line as a joke, but the rest of it I really mean. I spent hours agonizing over how to tell Pippa how I feel, only to realize that this imagined love may only run one way. I would rather risk never finding someone to love me then to risk what I have with Pippa.
It's just not worth it.
Erik leans his elbows on the table. "But what if she loves you just like you love her?"
I roll my eyes, tipping up my paint glass to drain the contents in a few swallows when I'm done, I grab the pitcher and refill my own beer. "I don't want to talk about her anymore. Let's change the subject. How about we poke around in your private business with Nika?"
That earns me a scowl. I slide the beer pitcher over to him and he accepts it with a frown. "That's not very funny."
I huff a laugh. "And yet, it's more entertaining than talking about why Pippa and I aren't an item. I think at this point, I have to admit to myself that I don't think I'm cut out for love. Being in love, believing in love, the whole thing is just very…" I wrinkle my face up.
Erik takes a few moments to fill his beer and take a sip. He looks up at me after he's done, his keen eyes pinning me in place. "It's funny you say that, because not that long ago, I was saying that too. And then… there was Annika. Your sister hit me like a hurricane and I had no choice but to fall in love with her.” He smiles into his beer. “She’s very lovable.”
I give him a smarmy smile. "You two would have never gotten together if it hadn't been for Stellan and my grandmother sticking their big fat noses in where they don’t along. It created a tension, a sense of taboo, where there wasn't one before. I blame that entirely for you and Nika."
Erik fans his hand out. "Maybe. I think there is more to love than the sense of forbidden longing though."
I purse my lips. "Maybe that is why I haven't ever been in love. I don't even think I'm capable of it."
He frowns. "I'm sure that's not true."
"It really is. And that's okay. Someone has to stand out among all the rest.”
He rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t word it like that.”
“Look, I know that I'm not the safest choice. But I will still be a handsome retired Royal Air Force pilot and a prince when I am seventy years old. Hell, I might have even been to space! I have difficulty believing that I will ever not be able to walk into a bar and get any girl that catches my eye. That's not something that most people can say."
He laughs a little at that. "I think that's your age talking. When you are fifty years old, you will be watching Pippa and whatever guy she settles down with. And you'll