wanted you—I damned you too. What the fuck did I just do?” He tore at his hair again and then pulled away from me. “I’m going to go sleep on the couch.”
“Asher wait—”
“—I do love you,” he said in a sad voice. “But not enough to leave you alone… maybe I do take after my dad in more ways than one because he was never willing to sacrifice everything for the girl he fell for—and it seems… history has no choice but to fuck with us over and over again.”
He slammed the door behind him, leaving me paralyzed in place.
Rooted to the floor while fresh tears streaked down my face.
What just happened?
Chapter Six
Asher
I had to get myself under control, but I’d been out of control for a long time, hadn’t I? I just refused to acknowledge how bad it had gotten, how I lost pieces of myself each and every time I saw someone’s soul leave this earth.
But what other choice did I have?
It was the job nobody wanted.
Even Junior didn’t want it, and the guy was even more bloodthirsty than his father, but that’s another story altogether, isn’t it? It seems that no matter how many of us kids try to break away from the sins of our parents…
We step right back into it.
Over and over again, like some sick cycle of torture.
I scared her.
And part of me needed her scared, I needed her to understand that the Family doesn’t care if you’re ninety or nine, they don’t care if you’re the favorite uncle, cousin, human. Because when you know too much.
It’s simple.
You know too much.
And we were done making an exception.
Because exceptions meant loose ends, exceptions meant emotions and feelings, and I knew that even though I loved Claire, even though I wanted to keep her, they wouldn’t let me make an exception to the rules of this life.
She would be a loose end.
And she would die.
I just didn’t know how to explain it to her without sounding like a monster. I could hear her tossing and turning in the bed upstairs. I forced myself to go to sleep and felt like I woke up ten minutes later when the sun made an appearance overhead.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up, making my way into the kitchen to make coffee.
I stopped when I saw my dad sitting at the breakfast bar already.
“It’s starting to freak me out how often I’m seeing you these days,” I grumbled, stealing his cup and sipping.
At least this time I didn’t get a slap on the back of my head.
The sleeves to his crisp blue and white pinstripe shirt were rolled up past a maze of tattoos that made him stick out in Washington and well, everywhere.
“We’re not in session.” He sighed. “Got a few weeks left to tie some things up here.”
I froze, stared him down over my mug. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“What do you want to know?” His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “She still upstairs?”
“Either that or she ran for the hills screaming, and I have to go find her, yeah,” I grumbled. “She saw me washing off blood, and I wasn’t…” I squeezed my eyes shut. “The shaking won’t stop. One moment I’m fine and then—”
“—you’re human.” He interrupted. “Never apologize for being human.”
“It’s not natural to kill someone you used to play tag with, Dad.” Suddenly exhausted, I sat down next to him.
He wrapped an arm around me. He’d never been afraid to show physical affection to any of us kids, if anything, I got more hugs than I did slaps. Like he knew the burden he asked us to carry was the hardest thing he would ever do and that hopefully, by keeping that human connection, we wouldn’t lose ourselves to the darkness.
“What are you really worried about?”
I gulped. “Her leaving. Having to—well, let’s just start with her leaving. I mean we’ve known each other for two months; I knew it the minute I saw her, she was mine.”
He listened intently. “And now?”
“And now I feel like I’ve fucking ruined her life.”
“I could make it all go away.” He sighed. “Sergio could help, but people would know. Andrei tries his best to keep a tight leash on everyone and everything, but we have people just waiting for us to crumble, to fall apart, people willing to do anything and use anyone in order to do it. She doesn’t understand that our enemies would love nothing more than to hurt her. There is no normal, and since