up the pitching machine, and practice a few times. Still haunted from the visual of what’s waiting for me in Beltline this weekend, I whiff on the ball the first three times.
Taking Coach Weathers’s basic advice to me since I was ten, I step back, take a breath, and get back in the box. I do as he taught me as a kid, a kid who put too much stress on himself. I lived and breathed baseball until the accident. It was my life, and if I want to admit how much, I’d say Ella was put second in my life due to baseball. If that wasn’t the truth, I wouldn’t have convinced her that we’d make it at separate colleges.
I swing, and the ball hits the back wall. I set my feet up and slam the next one. Soon, I seem to be on a roll, and all I’m concentrating on is that ball and hitting it toward the wall. The anger, anxiety, and sadness pour out of me the more the bat connects to the ball.
My melancholy mood breaks away, and I’m slamming hit after hit until that damn “Thrift Shop” song starts playing.
Whiff.
Whiff.
Whiff.
Air. That’s all my bat is hitting—fucking air.
Noah’s screams are in my head. His pleas to save him. My legs lose all strength, and I collapse to the ground, crawling to a safe corner before a ball smacks me. As the ball machine keeps firing at me, like the fingers from that small town, I’m swallowed into that night.
My head is buried between my legs when the song switches again. The pitching machine is out of balls. I pick one up, throw it and it dings against the metal machine down the alley.
“Fuck this.” I stomp down to the machine, replacing all the balls into the machine, and I’m on my way back to the hitting box when Saucey, Ollie, and Derek walk through the door.
“Oh, man.” Saucey rubs his hands together. “I see a double or nothing coming on.”
I shake my head. “I don’t have any bets in me tonight.”
“Oh, Lynch, take your skirt off,” Saucey eggs me on.
But I position myself to hit the ball.
“Don’t miss!” Ollie screams as the ball is let out of the pitching machine.
I slam it against the back wall, best hit I’ve had all day.
The next ball is swinging out.
Ollie speaks again, “I hear your girl has been with Brax all day. What’s with that?”
Whiff.
Fuck.
I turn around, and a ball hits my back. I jump around until the sting diminishes.
“Watch out, Lynch.” Saucey laughs.
Some days, I’d like his head to be a baseball and introduce it to my bat.
I walk out of the cage, and Derek’s there with his bat.
“You mind?” He nods.
I hold my arm out, saying, Go ahead.
While Derek is in the batting cage, I take my phone off the Bluetooth and check for any messages from Ella.
Nothing.
“What’s got you down, Lynch? The fact that your girl might not be as hung up on monogamy as you?” Saucey baits me more, but I try to disregard his delusions.
“I trust my girl.” I start packing up my bag with the hopes that I can find her somewhere.
“Hmm…you do know about her freshman year? I mean, I imagine a couple like the two of you share everything, right?”
Although I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about, I need to find out while convincing him that we do tell each other everything.
“Saucey, shut up.” Ollie elbows him.
But Saucey doesn’t relent. “Sometimes, you need to have fun.”
“Not at the expense of someone else,” Ollie says. He exits our conversation to grab his bat. “You need to grow up!” he hollers over his shoulder.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I’m not sure I care either.” I swing my bag over my shoulder.
Ollie fist-bumps me on my way to the door.
“Oh, I’d care if my girlfriend was a slut. I couldn’t even keep count on how many guys took her in a night.”
My hand grips the doorknob, like I’m the Incredible Hulk, and I expect it to crush under the pressure.
“Saucey, you’re toeing the line between asshole and razzer,” Ollie reminds him.
I turn around to face a smug Saucey. “I’d say he’s already an asshole.” I keep my reaction about Ella’s past hidden for the time being.
Although, I’m fuming inside imagining her with anyone, I can’t cast stones. I’m not innocent either.
“You’re not some golden boy, Lynch. One day, another pussy will lure you, and I can’t wait