Josh like-y?”
“Josh fell asleep before he could even see me in it.” Ellery couldn’t believe she’d actually admitted Josh’s disinterest to her friend. Even with Madison, her absolute best friend, she never wanted to present herself as anything but totally together.
“Oh shit, E,” Madison said, her toe stopping her rocking motion. She turned to Ellery. “I’m so sorry. Maybe it’s all the stress he’s under. Med school’s so tough and such a commitment.”
Ellery stared at the mums blooming brightly from the barrel between them. “That’s what they say.”
Madison reached over and took her hand, squeezing her fingers. “It won’t last.”
“I don’t know, Mads. Everything is so screwed up right now. My dad is in financial trouble, and my mom . . . well, she’s . . . sleeping with someone.”
“What?” Madison’s eyes got big. “That’s crazy, but in a way good. I mean, your mom deserves to be happy, right?”
Ellery inhaled deeply. “Sure. But you don’t get it. It’s a younger guy, Mads.”
“Reeeally?” Madison drawled, her mouth dropping open for a few seconds. “I never would have pegged your mother as a cradle robber, but good for her.”
“No, it’s disgusting. She’s turning forty in December, and he’s . . . he’s too young for her. And I don’t want to talk about my mom having sex. It’s so disturbing.”
“You know she has had sex, right? I mean, at least once,” Madison said with a grin.
“Just stop,” Ellery said, wondering why she had even sat down. She wanted to leave. Just get in the car. Not look back.
Madison sobered. “I’m sorry, Elle. I hoped you would forget all the bad stuff this weekend. I know things have been tough, but you have a fiancé who loves you, and when you get an internship next year, everything will look different.”
If she got an internship. She had filled out the applications online but had yet to submit her portfolio or send any follow-ups. Something inside her had died when J.J. had delivered her email of doom. That one rejection had started her on the slide down the hill she now tumbled. She felt lost and didn’t know how to get the old Ellery back. “Yeah, maybe so.”
“Oh yeah,” Madison said, sitting up and craning her neck like a meerkat. “There he is.”
“There who is?” Ellery asked, leaning over so she could see around the large cypress beam. Walking from the parking lot below the vineyard tasting rooms was Gage. He wore tight jeans, hiking boots, and a flannel shirt, and he carried a motorcycle helmet. His jaw looked carved of granite, and she could have sworn his gray-green eyes darted toward where they sat on the patio before he started his climb toward the place where he worked. Ellery looked back at the parking lot and spied a shiny Harley-Davidson motorcycle sitting beside a truck marked with the One Tree Estates logo. Of course he rode a hog. Because of course.
“That delicious treat who works the bar, that’s who.”
“Gage?”
“You know him?” Madison turned to her.
“Sort of. We’ve met a few times.”
“Any chance I can meet him? He’s adorable and hot and tasty and—”
Ellery actually managed to laugh, even as something ugly rose within her, which seemed to be becoming a habit. But this ugly screamed “Mine,” and she had no such reason to feel that way. Other than the fact that she’d kissed him last night beneath the October moon, and it had been incredibly moving. Like an awakening. Like something she suddenly longed to do again. And again. And again.
Gage disappeared into the building like a message.
Not for you.
Madison snapped her attention back to Ellery. “You want breakfast? Your mom brought some Danish and muffins. Oh, and fruit.”
“Go ahead,” Ellery said, nodding at her friend. “I’ll be in later. I’m enjoying the morning.”
Madison rose and opened the door. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m perfect.”
But Ellery was a liar. Nothing was perfect at the moment. Nothing at all. So she sat in the rocker, contemplating how she could change her trajectory, but she could find no answers. No answers at all.
Sliding her phone from her hoodie pocket, she stared at the many messages on her screen. Several from her mother. Please. Let’s talk. Please answer. I need you to talk to me.
Ellery ignored those messages and pressed the center button with her thumb. The home screen appeared. It was a picture of her and Josh on the day he’d proposed. She looked stupidly happy. Josh looked pleased. Suddenly she hated the picture, so she