chewing, taking another good-sized chomp.
“Now I am. Clean your plate before the cocoa or we’re gonna have issues, darlin’.”
“I don’t know what to do, Ridge. You’re in real danger. So is Tobin, and Jackie, and...everyone who gets mixed up in this. We’re tainted.”
“Jackie?” My hand pauses as I finish assembling my own dinner.
“Miss Owens, the nurse?” She huffs out a breath. “The lady you must be paying a fortune for, instead of me. I don’t know how you can—”
“Grace. Money’s the least of my concerns. Look around,” I tell her, spreading the mayo thick before setting the knife down, loading onions over the bacon, and pressing my bread together. “I learned a long damn time ago life isn’t always about chasing more coin.”
“Says someone who’s never had to do without it. Money’s why we’re in this mess with Clay.” She slaps a hand over her mouth, suddenly wide-eyed. “Um, sorry. That was rude of me. I didn’t mean...”
“It’s understandable,” I say. “I was set real pretty from the day I was born, even without Mom’s career adding to the family coffers. My grandfather co-founded an airline, one with the first big commercial routes to Hawaii and the rest of the Pacific. Dad inherited his seat on the board, and then it was merged into a major carrier. Never had to do without it, but I have been without it.”
She looks at me like she can’t imagine how.
“The Army,” I explain. “My bank account was still full, but in Afghanistan, that didn’t do me a lick of good. I couldn’t spend a dime. We had to stretch everything with whatever the good old U S of A supplied us.”
Her eyes flash in the mellow light, something like respect shining brightly.
“How long did you serve?” she asks softly.
“Just a couple tours.” A heaviness settles in my chest. “My mother didn’t want a son in the military, always risking his neck overseas. She wanted her boy on the silver screen, following in her footsteps.”
I don’t realize how bitter I sound until I see the way she’s looking at me.
Fuck.
Holding in the hot air scorching my lungs, I realize just how true that statement is and how it irritated me, even back then.
I’d left Hollywood and enlisted because I’d hated that life already, but because of Mom, I’d returned. Let her have her way because she was my mother.
I loved her, and I didn’t understand then why the life had gone out of her, why she sounded so sad, so defeated, every time we’d talk about my future.
If I’d only known how desperate she was to stay in the limelight, while there was still time...
“I’m rambling,” I say, severing that train of thought. “Back to more important shit than my Army days.”
“It’s none of my business but...you didn’t like acting?” she asks, eyes lit with curiosity.
These are the times when I wish they made foot removal kits for mouths.
“Yes and no. I mean, who wouldn’t love being a star? The praise, the money, the prestige, the creativity...it’s all fine and dandy for the ego stroke and sense of accomplishment. Real easy to get caught up in the high of your next film or a brand-new digit in your investment portfolio, but it’s also an ugly fuckin’ world.”
She blinks, taken aback at how I say it.
I don’t blame her.
“Picture a world with no privacy. The sleekest, sexiest human zoo you’ve ever imagined. Always somebody watching every step you take. Plenty of vultures circling, ready to pounce if your mistake is their gain.”
Shit, rambling doesn’t begin to cover this.
I’ve never opened up to anyone and played the world’s tiniest violin. Not even to Tobin.
But if it helps her open up and trust me, it’s worth it.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I’ve had a great life with luxuries and experiences most people can only dream of.
And honestly? It feels genuinely good to get a fraction of this toxic load off my chest.
“Ridge, I’m really, really sorry about those articles. The nasty things they said, always painting you like you’re some kind of crazy, broken person who just wanted to run away...it isn’t fair.”
I look up, surprised at the venom in her voice.
It’s rare when I hear someone genuinely angry.
Not at me, but for me.
I shrug. “I’ve had hot garbage written about me before a thousand times. You should’ve seen the time I showed up for my co-star’s birthday in the big Romeo and Juliet remake. Don’t know who the fuck was more embarrassed over the imminent wedding