“Maybe you should stay at my place for a few days?” Lukas suggests, watching me cram my shit into the plastic bag the nurse gave me for my things. My clothes are covered in blood, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s mine, Katie’s, or Renee’s. Today I get to leave the hospital, and tomorrow I bury my five-year-old daughter. All I want to do is find a scalpel in this hospital and hide in the bathroom and cut myself.
“No,” I say.
“You can come stay with us,” Storm offers, putting his arm around his fiancée, Evie. I smirk at my cousin. Like I really want to stay with these two disgustingly happy people who can’t keep their hands off each other and smile fucking non-stop. That scalpel is calling my name.
“We’d love to have you stay with us, Vandal. I’ve got homemade chili cooking in the crockpot. Storm said it’s one of your favorites.” Evie smiles up at me, but shrinks back from my cold stare. Blizzard Chick is her nickname. Now I remember. I step closer to her and she sinks into Storm’s side a little.
“I hafta bury my fuckin’ kid tomorrow. You think I want to sit around with you two fucks and eat chili?”
I enjoy watching the smile disappear from her face and the way she looks down at the floor. That’s right, honey, don’t even look at me. I will fucking eat your soul. Storm glares at me, torn between saving his girlfriend from the big bad wolf and letting me expel my rage a little. Someday he’ll learn he can’t love everybody.
Lukas touches my arm. “Vandal, take it easy. We’re all just trying to help.”
I shrug him off. “I don’t want any help. I don’t want anything.”
Except my daughter. And if I can’t have her, I’ll take that scalpel now so I can cut this pain out of my body.
I grab my bag. “Can we go?” Lukas is supposed to drive me home since my new Mustang is now a mangled mess of metal, glass, and death.
“No, we have to wait for the doctor to come back and discharge you, and there’s some other stuff that needs to be taken care of. I told you this already, did you forget?”
I roll my eyes and sit on the bed. I need to get home and get away from everybody. They’re smothering me with all their good intentions and attention, and I have no idea how to accept either from them, thanks to me coming from the fucked up side of this family—meaning the father I haven’t seen since I was five. I only just found out I had a brother and a clan of cousins a little more than five years ago. Needless to say, I am adjusting to the whole family thing a lot slower than they are.
“Get out of my way.” A familiar female voice snarls.
I turn toward the commotion at my door to see Deb pushing her way past Storm into my room. I knew she would show up eventually.
“You,” she says, pointing at me, barely standing up straight. I don’t know if she’s drunk or just mentally distraught. Possibly both. “You killed my daughter,” she chokes out. “You’re a fucking murderer.”
I rise to my feet, grab the IV trolley, and step towards the woman who gave birth to the only person I’ve ever loved. “You made me do this, Deb. Your fucking selfish, crazy control-freak tantrum caused this.” I punch the wall next to her, and my fist goes through drywall. “She’d be alive right now if you had just let her stay for one more night. Really, Deb? You had to fucking threaten me and force me to drive in the middle of the night when I told you I was fucking exhausted?”
“I hate you! You killed my baby!” she shrieks, and starts to smack and kick me.
Storm grabs her and pulls her off me. “Deb, please. This is not the time or place for this.” His voice is low as he holds her back.
“He should be in prison! He’s a murderer!”