“Mr. Valentine, you had a collision with another car. Your daughter, female passenger, and the driver of the other car didn’t make it. There was another passenger who sustained a few injuries, but we expect her to make a full recovery. I’m very sorry for your loss. We did everything we could, but unfortunately, the injuries were too severe. You’ve suffered a head injury and several cracked ribs, as well as many bruises and lacerations. I know this is tragic news, but it’s important that you remain calm for your own well-being.”
“Fuck you!” I lurch up in the bed and a stabbing pain knifes through my ribs and across my skull. “All of you. Get away from me. Deb put you up to this, right? To take Katie away from me? I’ll kill that fucking bitch!”
Lukas puts his hand on my shoulder. “No, Van, you gotta rest, okay? I’m gonna stay right here. I won’t leave you.”
I shove his hand off me. “Fuck off. All of you, just fuck off!” Sitting up, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, but a wave of dizziness and nausea comes over me. I grab onto the edge of the bed as the doctor and nurse rush over to grab my arms, pushing my brother aside.
“Mr. Valentine, we’re going to give you a sedative to help you be calm.” Before I realize what’s happening, the nurse is injecting the medication into my IV drip. Within seconds, my head starts to swim, and I feel even more nauseous. Katie … she can’t be gone. Not my baby girl. My only light. They must be wrong. There is no way that she could be dead.
“We’ll have the toxicology report in a few hours.” The doctor’s voice sounds fuzzy and far away.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Aria replies. “We appreciate your discretion, and for your help with the privacy. My husband will be here soon to help with the arrangements.”
“Wait,” Lukas says. “What toxicology report? He’s totally clean.”
“It’s standard procedure in cases like this. It’s part of the accident investigation,” the doctor advises.
My head aches even more as I try to think back to the previous night. I remember being tired, trying to stay awake as I was driving. I remember watching Katie in the mirror. And then nothing. It’s blank. Holy fuck. I think I fell asleep while I was driving. I killed my baby. And Renee. Fuck. Fuck.
My chest heaves uncontrollably. “Lukas … I think I fell asleep. Fucking shit. Katie … please tell me this isn’t happening … please, Lukas …” Every muscle in my body trembles, my skin crawling with intense fear.
Lukas and Aria appear above me again, and my aunt talks to me very softly. “Honey, it was an accident. A horrible accident. It’s not your fault. We’re going to get through this together, okay? We’re all going to be here for you. You’re not alone, I promise you. We all know it was an accident.” An accident.
“The other car may have hit you. That road is dark at night; there’s barely any lights. We don’t know what happened. We’ll find out soon,” Lukas adds.
My head throbs. I can’t remember anything about what happened no matter how hard I try. I reach up to touch my head and find bandages there.
“Mr. Valentine, please don’t touch the bandages. It’s important that you try to rest. The sedative will start to work soon. I’ll come back in a little while to check on you. We’ll have to run some more tests.”
Lukas pulls one of the visitor chairs closer to the bed and falls into it. He turns to our aunt, his eyes swollen and red. “Aria, why don’t you go talk to the guys, give them an update and maybe go home and get some rest? I’m going to stay here with him.”
“Are you sure? Maybe I should stay …” Her voice trails off. I can’t listen anymore. I don’t want to hear anything else. I want all words to stop.
My vision blurs and my eyes droop. I blink repeatedly and stare at the ceiling, but all I can see is Katie. This isn’t real. None of this is fuckin’ happening. I let my eyelids fall and allow the drugs to take me under. It’s been a long time since I felt the pull into the numbness that I used to crave so much . I go willingly, as if meeting an old friend.
Vandal
There’s no escape from this nightmare I’m trapped in. Sleep brings no relief. I see her in my dreams, smiling at me, reaching for my hand. I can hear her tiny, sweet voice, her innocent giggle. Then I wake and reality rushes into my veins, washing her away, taking her from me over and over again.