“Well, you did forget.”
“Yeah, I did, but if I had some kind of fucking disease I wouldn’t be touching you in the first place. I’m not that much of a douche.”
She eyes me some more, and I run my hands through my hair in frustration. “I swear to you, I’m clean.”
“Okay,” she finally says. “I believe you.”
“Good, now get in the tub before the water gets cold.” I help her in and she settles down under the bubbles. I’m assaulted by a flashback of Katie bathing here not too long ago. My heart clenches and the familiar pain in my chest makes itself known. Not now. Please. I grab a clean washcloth from the linen closet and sit on the floor, wishing this bathroom had a big Jacuzzi tub so I could fit in there comfortably with her.
“Can I ask you something?” she says, idly playing with the bubbles.
“The answer to that will always be yes.”
She gives me a cute sideways smile and blows the bubbles towards my face. “This is part of it? Bathing?”
I nod and slowly glide the washcloth over her body under the water. “Yes, it’s referred to as after-care sometimes. It’s to soothe you, relax muscles that may be sore after using restraints, to clean you, of course, and to show you that I care about you and want you to feel safe and taken care of. And it helps to bring us closer, because it’s intimate.”
“Have you had other girls like me here?”
“Actually, no. I’ve never had any girls here. I don’t live here full-time; I only stay here sometimes.”
I follow her eyes to the pink bottle of bubble bath with the smiling kitten on it. Shit.
“Then why do you have that? You really don’t look like the type who would be taking pink bubble baths. No offense.”
I take a deep breath and rub her back with the cloth in slow circles. “It was my daughter’s.”
I did not want to go down this road. Not now. Maybe not ever. I cannot lie to her about this, though. Not when I’m trying to gain her trust and submission. I can’t have her doubting me about diseases and bubble baths and thinking I am either a pervert or feeding her lies.
“You have a daughter?” She sits up a little in surprise and turns to face me.
“She’s gone.” That’s all I can manage to say. I cannot verbalize anything else about it. I haven’t had to say the words before now because everyone I know knew Katie died. To actually say it, to say she is dead with my own mouth, is sickening to me. I never want to hear my voice say those words again.
Tabi looks both shocked and upset, her eyes softening and watery. She grabs at my hand under the water. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Is that why you were there? When we met?”
I nod and slip my fingers between hers. I always want to be touching her in some way, maybe because I’m afraid she’s going to just disappear.
“How old was she?”