Fuck. I want to cut myself wicked bad, and I have no razors here. I lean my head into my hands. Ever since the accident, my brain feels as if it’s trying to claw its way out of my skull when I get mad or stressed out. I want to rip my own fucking head off right now.
“Are you okay?” Her voice is tiny and soft but still startles me. I didn’t even hear her come into the room. She touches my head carefully. “Are you sick?”
“Just go away. We’re not doing this.”
I lean back on the couch and try to focus on her in the dark room. She’s still completely naked, and is standing way too close to me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, and then kneels on the floor in front of me and clasps her hands behind her back. “I know I’m a sarcastic brat. It’s how I deal with things when I’m upset or scared. I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”
“Please, just go to bed.” I can’t stand having her like this in front of me. She makes me feel as if I’m going to lose my fucked-up mind.
“I … I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you. I promise I’ll be better. Don’t make me leave.”
My heart speeds up, and anticipation kicks in upon hearing those words. “Do you mean that? Do you know what you’re saying?”
“Yes.”
“You can’t play with me. This is serious for me … for both of us. It’s not a fucking game.”
“I know, and I don’t want it to be. I did some web research on my cell phone while you were at the store. I’ve read books about this sort of thing. I understand what it is. I’m just scared.”
“I know you are. I am too.” I let one brick out of my wall and pray she doesn’t destroy me with it.
“Can I kiss you?” Fuck me. She’s asking for permission.
“No,” I answer, even though I want her kiss more than I want to breathe. “Turn around and bend over the coffee table.”
Disappointment crosses her face but she silently turns and does exactly as I ask, bending over the low table and resting her forehead against it, her hands still clasped behind her, her beautiful ass offered to me. I run my hands slowly down her ribs, over her hips, and further down to squeeze her tight, round ass. I want to ram my cock into her and make her scream my name so badly that it’s making my entire body ache just holding back from ravishing her.
Go slow. Go slow.
I slide my finger between her cheeks all the way down to her lips, parting them and feeling her wetness. She wants this. Maybe just as much as I do.
I lift my hand and bring it down on her ass cheek with a smack. Not as hard as I’ve done to others in the past, but enough to make her jump and gasp.
“Will you listen to me from now on and not be a brat?” I ask her.