raced through her. He could see it in the flutter of her throat and the gentle twitch of her shoulders.
“What happened?” she asked.
Rafe worked to keep the specific memories at bay. He never indulged them. To do so was madness and despair. “She died. I loved her very much.” More than life. And she’d been carrying their child. The loss of the family he’d so desperately wanted was a hole inside him that would never heal. Vengeance hadn’t soothed his pain; nothing would.
Anne’s eyes rounded. “Oh.” She glanced away. “That’s why there’s a darkness inside you.”
Christ, she did see him. “Yes.”
Her gaze turned fierce, and she took his hand between both of hers in her lap. “I am your friend, and perhaps I’ll be more. Perhaps not. I have no illusions—not after Gilbert Chamberlain. If I learned anything from that experience, it’s that I deserve happiness and I won’t settle for anything less than what I want.”
Utterly fearless. He shouldn’t take her to Magazine Day, but nothing could stop him. Not even the stark reality that he didn’t deserve to breathe the same air she did. If she knew how he was connected to Chamberlain, she’d realize just how awful he was.
He put his other hand over hers and leaned toward her. “Understand me, Anne—there is more than a darkness. I am not the man you think I am, nor the man you want me to be. I am not a knight or a hero who will make you happy forever. If you can accept that, we will go to Magazine Day to make up our lost afternoon. And then we will part as friends. Do you agree?” He held her gaze and stroked his thumb along her wrist.
She nodded. Then he did the unthinkable. He brought his hands up to her face and held her while he put his mouth on hers. She clasped the lapels of his coat, pulling the garment as her lips met his.
The kiss was fast but deep. It wasn’t a promise but a regret. A desperate yearning that would never be fulfilled.
Rafe groaned low in his throat and released her. “Go.”
She set her hat atop her head and coughed. “My gloves.”
He stood and retrieved them from the floor. Handing them to her, he was careful to barely touch her hand. “I’ll see you Wednesday.”
She nodded, then left.
One stolen afternoon. Before his life irrevocably changed.
Ludlow Mallory’s coach stopped in front of Rafe’s magnificent house on Upper Brook Street. The groom opened the door and helped Deborah alight, then Anne. Her godfather and his son, Lorcan, followed. The four of them stood on the pavement and looked at the grandest façade on the street.
“This is his house?” Anne’s godfather asked incredulously. “How wealthy is he?”
“I would say quite,” Deborah said with a slight frown.
“He doesn’t need to be an earl,” Anne’s godfather continued. “Nor does he need all my property and assets.”
“Nevertheless, he’s entitled to them,” Lorcan said with resignation. “Including my beloved Kilmaar.”
Anne gave him a sympathetic smile. “Perhaps he’ll allow you to keep something. You certainly aren’t going to be destitute.” At least she hoped not. She had no idea how their finances would be once they lost the properties and whatever assets rightfully belonged to Rafe. “I can’t see how your cousin would let that happen.”
“Do you know him?” her godfather asked sharply. Anne swallowed.
Deborah exhaled. “She’s just being optimistic. Which is admirable.” She gave Anne a warm smile. “Of course, my life will not be changed.”
The former earl gave his daughter a sour look. “Precisely. Optimism is easy for you. And Anne.”
“You mean selfishness,” Lorcan said, darting a disappointed glance at his sister before apologizing to Anne. “I didn’t mean you. Your optimism is appreciated.”
Anne hated how defeated Lorcan and his father sounded. She could understand how they must feel. This was such a shock.
Taking a breath and summoning the optimism they seemed to need, she squared her shoulders. “Let’s not stand here and gawk.” She started up the steps to the door, which opened as she reached the top.
The butler, Glover if she recalled from her visit the other day, admitted them with a nod. After they were all in the entry hall, a footman took Anne’s and Deborah’s shawls, and a second footman took over the butler’s position at the door.
“This way, if you please.” Glover led them to the right into an elegant room decorated in reds and golds. There were a few chairs and a settee, but it