get. Even if there was a little pang in my chest. I had a few months to see if I was making the right decision.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to Myles? I mean, you haven’t told me much, but he bought a flippin’ house for you.”
Part of me still wanted to go find Myles and maybe take another look at his shiny house. But I knew in my heart that wasn’t right for us. The timing was off. Our story in a nutshell—timing. We both had been too afraid to go after what we needed. I still hoped that someday we’d get our shit together.
I couldn’t imagine my entire life without him.
But I couldn’t stand still anymore. Not even for him.
“I’m going to be late.”
I climbed the stairs and slowly walked through the back hallway to the living room. Pictures of my family lined the walls. So many bright smiles. Some of the photos were set in Florida. One of the stops on my train schedule was a trip to see my folks. But most of my itinerary included cities I’d dreamed of seeing and never had the money or time to visit. Now, I’d make sure to take the time to see New Orleans, Austin, Nashville, Savannah, San Francisco, and so many others.
I hadn’t planned anything after I hit all the spots on my list. I figured I’d add more or find somewhere to settle down for awhile before the wanderlust hit again. Or maybe I’d come home and find Myles again.
If he was still here.
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat that never seemed to go away. It was going to take a long time to get those shattered blue eyes out of my head.
When I got to the door, I rechecked my travel bag one more time. “So, did you talk to Todd this morning?”
My sister twirled a lock of her wavy dark hair. “Maybe.”
“Did you jump him at lunch?” I laughed when her neck and chest went pink. “Oh, you did!”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“You are avoiding my question. And I saw your ticket since, you know, you’ve checked it eight times today. You’ve got plenty of time.”
I sighed. I just wanted to get moving. If I didn’t, I never would. “I’ll give it a few weeks and call him.”
“Weeks?”
“He left me for two years, Ro. He can hold his ass for two weeks.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little unreasonable? He came to you hat in hand.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I dropped my bag on the end table. “He also came at me with a whole future mapped out without so much as a, ‘hi, how are you? What have you been up to for two years?’ Oh, and maybe ‘what would you like to do, Felicity?’”
“And you have a plan you won’t budge on. There’s a thing called compromise, you know. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”
I raked back my hair. “How will I know if I don’t go? If I don’t try to see what’s out there?”
“At the expense of him?”
My eyes filled immediately. “Damn you.”
Robin reached for me, but I took a step back.
She sighed. “I’m not saying it to hurt you. I just don’t want you to throw everything away because you have tunnel vision about this plan of yours.”
“Because he left me the first time.” I knew my voice was more of a shout.
“What do you mean?”
“He just walked away and I couldn’t breathe around it. I was too afraid to go after him. I just stood there. Frozen.” My voice was a rough whisper. “I don’t want to be that girl, Ro. I can’t be her anymore.”
“That girl isn’t a coward. No matter how you feel about anything else. You started your own company. You worked two, sometimes three jobs to get everything done. That’s not a coward.”
I clenched my fists at my sides. It didn’t feel like it. I couldn’t give myself to Myles that night, and then I couldn’t give myself to any other man who even attempted to get into my sphere.
I was a coward all around.
I tipped back my head. “I have to do this.”
“Fine.”
I blew out a breath. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
My phone buzzed. My ride was outside waiting.
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Disappointed?” I looped the messenger bag over my head and double-checked my money and tickets one more time. It was just a confirmation number. I still had to pick up my actual tickets at the