forth before it broke off and he dropped it inside the can. “I think it’s different for me, though.”
“Why do you think that?” Logan asked.
Mikey shrugged. “Because I was only eight when he died. You guys were all older, teenagers, at least. You had all this time with him.” His voice faded, eyes still on his can. “He won’t be at my graduation.”
Logan and I exchanged a glance, then, realizing why the topic had been brought up. Mikey was seventeen, heading into his senior year — and Jordan had just mentioned graduation. I remembered that time of my life so well — the excitement of being at the top of the school, of finally finishing, mixed with the worry of what would happen next, where life would take me.
I had so many questions when I was that age — a teenager, becoming a new adult.
And I had Dad to answer them.
So did Jordan.
So did Logan, though Dad died just weeks after his graduation.
We’d all had him there, and once again, Mikey was left out of that equation.
“We’ll be there,” I finally said to Mikey, breaking the silence. “Mom, too. And Dad will be there, even if you can’t see him.”
Mikey sighed. “It’s not the same.”
“It’s not,” Jordan agreed. “And it’s okay to be sad that he’s not here anymore. We all have days. We will for the rest of our lives. He was our father.”
He paused at that, swallowing hard, and I could see it in his eyes, that sad truth like a ghost in his pupils. He was Jordan’s father — no matter what anyone in the town had to say about it. But, I still knew he wondered who his biological one was.
I wondered if any of us would ever know.
“It happens to me more in the small moments than the big ones,” Logan chimed in, finger tapping on the koozie wrapped around his beer can. “Like, I didn’t really think about him when I got the tour guide job at such a young age. But, when I’m fishing out at the lake, or when I catch a whiff of cologne that smells like the one he used to wear… that’s when it hits me. That’s when I have that I wish he was here moment.”
My stomach twisted. “For me, it’s always when I dance with Mom.”
We all glanced over our shoulders and inside the house, watching Mom bop around the kitchen with a soft smile on her face.
“I can take your turn tonight,” Logan offered. “If you want.”
I shook my head. “Nah, I don’t mind missing him, or thinking about him.” I shrugged. “Like Jordan said, it’s just become a permanent part of my life now.”
We were all silent for a long moment, facing the garden again, sipping from our drinks.
“I think it’s the unresolved part of it all that gets to me most,” Mikey said after a while. “Do you think Mom will ever stop looking for answers?”
None of us responded. None of us had to. We all knew she’d never stop asking, stop looking for holes in the reports, for foul play at the distillery. No matter how many years passed, she would never believe that fire was started by a cigarette.
“Hey, how was Nashville with Bailey?” Logan asked, effectively changing the subject.
Mikey seemed a little hesitant to let the topic of Dad go, but after a moment, a grin spread across his face, his eyes sparking with the kind of love-sick look only Bailey brought out in him. “It was so crazy. Seeing her on stage, the crowds going wild for her?” Mikey shook his head. “I’ll never forget it. She told the label she wants to finish high school, but that she’ll sign the contract as soon as we walk across the stage. Can you believe that?” He just kept shaking his head. “She’s going to do it. She’s going to be the next country music star. A hometown girl from Stratford, Tennessee.”
“And are you ready for all that comes with that?” I asked.
“As long as I’m with her, I’m ready for anything.”
I opened my mouth to point out every flaw I saw in this potential plan, starting with the fact that Bailey’s entire life would change when she signed that contract, but Jordan locked eyes with me, shaking his head almost imperceptibly to warn me off the subject. It didn’t matter right now, and just because I was a pessimist didn’t mean I had to drag my little brother down with me.
He